When you hear, “She has stepsiblings,” you might translate that as a negative. When I think of stepsiblings, I think of the relationships I’ve worked through by working on myself and building others up.

When you hear, “Her mother was divorced,” you might translate that as a negative. When I think of my mother being divorced, I think of the hundreds and hundreds of situations I had to deal with that made me a stronger, more understanding and considerate person. I came out on top.

When you hear, “Her father is not involved,” you might translate that as a negative. When I think of my father not being involved, I recall the many times I persevered.

For any negative association that you may have with any word that has to do with divorce — stepsiblings, half-siblings, stepfather, stepmother — I’ll have a positive rebuttal.

I may not have had two parents growing up. I may have had a stepfather whom I didn’t get along with. I may have a father who wasn’t/isn’t around in a positive way. I may have a stepmother who doesn’t like me just because I exist. I may have half-siblings and stepsiblings.

None of that defines me. You may never want to consider a girl/boy with a blended family. But did you ever think about the things children of divorce have had to handle? The situations we’ve navigated? The times we constantly found ourselves being the bigger person at ages that were just too young? That we know how important compromise is? That we can handle real life? That a tough situation won’t throw us off track?

Toss a hard situation my way, I’ve got it. I’ve gone through so many of them, many of which I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I’ve learned so many skills to be able to handle life. My blended family will always be a part of my life, and that’s okay. Tough situations will come up, and that’s okay. Those situations don’t define who I am. They have helped and will continue to help me become a stronger and better person.

I’m not here to put down anyone who grew up in a home with two parents. They have their struggles as well. I’m here to defend those of us who didn’t and to show you how strong we are. We’re not damaged goods.

We know good and well what we don’t want our homes to look like and will do everything in our power to create a healthy and beautiful home for our husbands/wives and our children. Being part of a blended family doesn’t mean we aren’t marriage material or there’s something wrong with us.

Do your research.

Don’t discard our résumés because of something we didn’t choose.

Give us a fair chance.

Thank you,

A Potential Daughter-In-Law

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 936)