Mothers share the best parenting advice they ever received, motherhood moments that moved them, the advice they wish they hadn’t followed — and the advice they wish they had

What was the best piece of mothering advice you ever received?

Bina, Caterer, Yerushalayim

My grandmother a”h used to say, “Zug ah kind az er iz gut, vert er besser — Tell a child he’s good, and he’ll become better.” A mother can’t underestimate the value of positivity. Our children are intrinsically good. They may mess up or do certain things we wish they didn’t (at any age) but letting them know that we love them, and that they are good, is crucial.

Also, the most important thing you can give your children is your time. I listened to that and used to take out one child once a week — either for pizza, or to the bakery, etc. It was our time together just to talk and enjoy each other’s company. Doing this at night made it even more special. I did it from about age six. The child picked the place he or she wanted to go and felt like a million dollars!

Sit with your child and play a game, read a book. Don’t get bogged down by what you have to do — like dishes, laundry, etc. That can wait, and the children grow up so quickly, you can’t turn the clock back. My married kids still talk about how I used to read them books and act out the characters.

Tzipi Caton, Author, Brooklyn

Your kids will not go to bed happy with you each day, and that’s okay. Parenting is not a popularity contest. Although saying no and setting healthy boundaries doesn’t always feel good, it’s part of what your children need in order to become healthy and stable adults. Be your own cheerleader for now. They’ll thank you later.

Also, talk to your kids the way you want to be spoken to. Honor their intelligence and emotions. Listen to them the way you would like to be listened to. Pay attention to their wisdom; they have so much to teach.

Sivan Rahav Meir, Journalist, Yerushalayim

My mother-in-law, Rabbanit Ziva Meir, is a parenting expert in Israel. When I attended her weekly shiur, I gained this incredible tip: We usually speak to our kids either with a question mark — “Do you want to eat something?” and “Maybe you want to sit down for supper?” or an exclamation mark —”Get off the table!” and “Clean your room, now!” My mother-in-law suggested that both of these should be replaced by simple, authoritative sentences, ending with a period. “Go to bed.” “Clean your room.” This works like magic. When you have calm authority, it gives you power, and your kids will listen.