When you’re required to respond to a brachah

Prepared for print by Faigy Peritzman

Are there any specific kavanos (intentions) to have when responding Amen?

The intent that one is to have in mind upon answering Amen is that the brachah heard is true and we believe in it. This intent is only applicable for those brachos that are factual statements of Hashem’s greatness (such as Baruch She’amar, Yishtabach, and Go’al Yisrael, or any brachah that expresses gratitude to Hashem, such as over food or fragrance). For those statements that are an appeal to Hashem, such as the stanzas of Kaddish (which is a request that Hashem return His Shechinah) and the like, you should focus on the future, that the words will come true and that these requests will be speedily fulfilled.

For those brachos that are a combination, it’s proper to have both intentions in mind. An example of such brachos are the middle blessings of the chazzan’s repetition, as well as the brachos of Retzei and Sim Shalom.

A coworker always says her birchos hashachar out loud in the office every morning, and most of the women answer Amen. I feel very small, but this daily interruption ruins my concentration on my work, and I’d like to ask her to do this somewhere else. Should I?

Not only should you, but you’re actually required to ask her to do so somewhere else, since you’re working for an employer who is paying for your time, and by not concentrating properly on your work, you’re shortchanging your employer. What she is doing has no real basis in halachah, and while it may be a nice and heartwarming thing to do, it may not be done at the expense of other people.

My niece is getting married in Israel this week, and while I can’t fly in to attend, there will be a livestream hookup for all those like me. I never know if I’m supposed to say Amen to the brachos recited if they’re in real time, albeit over microphone hookup.

It’s permitted, but not required, to answer Amen to a brachah that is heard in real time, even if it is transmitted over the phone, Zoom, or livestream. You may not recite Amen to a recording.

I live right across from a shul and sometimes when the windows are open, I hear the congregation answering Amen although I did not hear the brachah. Should I also say Amen? Does that also apply when the Amen is said after Kaddish and isn’t in response to a brachah?

If you do not know upon which brachah the congregation is reciting Amen, then you shouldn’t answer, since this is considered an Amen yesomah (an orphaned Amen) which is forbidden to recite. (However, if you heard the end of the brachah, even if you didn’t hear most of it, then you’re obligated to answer Amen.) The same holds true concerning Kaddish. If you don’t know which stanza of Kaddish is being said, don’t answer Amen.

While bentshing, my husband bentshes out loud while the rest of us do so silently. Shall I answer Amen to his brachos even if I’m not at the end of my brachah?

No, you shouldn’t. While you’re in the middle of your own brachah, you may not interrupt for any reason. Indeed, unless it’s a zimun, you shouldn’t answer Amen to another person’s brachah during Bircas Hamazon (until after al yechasreinu), even if you’re finished with your own brachah.

My boys all learned in cheder to make their brachos out loud with everyone answering Amen. However, I often find that when they do this at home, I’m in a state where my hands are tamei. May I answer Amen? 

If your hands are soiled, then you may not answer Amen. If your hands are clean, but you were not yet able to wash them (negel vasser or after touching your body in the covered areas), you’re allowed to answer Amen.

When we all wash our hands for netilas yadayim on Shabbos, I’m not sure if I should answer Amen to other people’s brachos after I myself have washed?

If you washed your hands and already recited al netilas yadayim, you may answer Amen to any brachah that you hear from another person. But if you washed your hands (even one hand) and didn’t yet recite al netilas yadayim, you may not answer Amen to another person’s brachah, and even bedi’eved if you mistakenly answered Amen, you should dry your hands and wash over again and then recite al netilas yadayim.

I was recently at a shivah house where after each person said HaMakom yenachem, the other people answered Amen. I always thought you need to say Sheim Hashem in order to respond Amen. Is that correct?

That isn’t correct. It’s permitted and recommended (but not required) to recite Amen on any tefillah or supplication that one hears, regardless if Hashem’s name was used. For this reason, it’s permitted to answer Amen after a Mi Shebeirach or after reciting HaRachaman in bentshing. But this applies only to a tefillah or a supplication that is directed toward Hashem; we generally don’t respond with Amen when one wishes a friend good luck upon embarking on a trip or a diet, etc.

Recently, someone mentioned to me that she’d heard there is a specific number of Amens to be said every day, similar to 100 brachos. I’d never heard of such a thing. Can you elaborate?

There is a kabbalistic concept that one should try to answer 90 Amens (the gematria of tzaddik) every single day. While this is an attainable goal for most men who attend davening in shul on a daily basis multiple times and are able to answer Amen to the many brachos of the chazzan’s repetition and Kaddish, etc., which are recited in shul, this doesn’t apply to most women, who don’t attend shul on a regular basis and are therefore unable to avail themselves of this concept. Traditionally, women weren’t involved in this endeavor, which is why you probably never heard of it.

I often only attend part of davening in shul, playing catch-up for the short amount of time I can be there. At what point while davening in shul is it obligatory for me to say Amen, and at which points is it prohibited while I’m davening something else?

During Shemoneh Esreh, you never answer Amen (or anything else). During Pesukei D’zimra, you may answer Amen on any brachah that you hear (but first finish the phrase that you’re saying). During Krias Shema and its brachos, you may recite Amen in between the brachos or the chapters, but not while you’re in the middle of a chapter or a brachah.

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 975)