“Send out for yourself men who will scout the Land of Canaan, which I am giving to the children of Israel…” (Bamidbar 13:2)

In his commentary on the words, “Send for yourselves,” Rashi tells us that Hashem said, “I’m not commanding you to send spies. I already told you the land’s good. If you want to send spies, then send.”

If this was Hashem’s answer, then why did Moshe go ahead and send the spies? Furthermore, Moshe recounts the decision to send the spies in Devarim (1:23) saying, “It was good in my eyes.”

This question is further compounded by Rashi’s comment in the next pasuk that the spies sent were “anashim,” signifying they were tzaddikim. Yet the Gemara in Sotah (35a) says that just as they came back with bad advice, so they went on bad advice.

How do we reconcile all this? (Rav Shimon Schwab, Maayan Beis Hashoeivah)

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a, you know what changes when you become a mother?”

I was busy indulging in one of my favorite pastimes  — nuzzling my grandson’s neck and hearing him giggle, so I wasn’t really tuned into his mother’s question. What changes when you become a mother? Dozens of diapers? Sleepless nights? Endless laundry piles?

My daughter inched closer to the baby, so he turned his attention to her. “The biggest change is that you never stop worrying,” she said.

Oh, that? Well, that’s a given. Worry’s a lifelong gift handed to you the minute you find out you’re expecting your first child. It’s insidious and devitalizing. And it’s part and parcel of being a mother. Isn’t it?

There are two types of bitachon. The first is termed faith with “closed eyes.” This refers to one who trusts Hashem “blindly.” He doesn’t dwell on the future; rather, he does what he’s supposed to and trusts that all will be for his good. It’s this type of bitachon that’s expected of us and has prevailed throughout our nation’s history.

There’s a second type of bitachon called “open eyes.” This type of person thinks about the future and all the nisyonos he may encounter, and he asks Hashem to help him persist through and overcome them. This level of faith is actually higher than the first because it’s fraught with danger. Although this person has faith, it’s possible that his nisyonos will be harder than he anticipated before enduring them, and he’ll fall within the pit of doubt and lose his bitachon. Therefore, Hashem doesn’t require us to try to reach this level of faith, and instead expects us to maintain the level of “closed eyes.”

There was a quote I heard once that made a tremendous impression on me: “Anxiety is always about the past or future. It’s never about the present.”

Right now, all is peaceful in my world. But…

What if Yitzi can’t find his way home from his friend?

What if I’m not immune to measles?

What if Avi gets sick this year on Purim like he did last year?

What if all these things don’t happen? What a waste of a good worry!

Now we can understand Bnei Yisrael’s intentions when they wanted to send spies; they were trying to reach the level of open-eyed faith. They wanted to clearly know the dangers that would be involved in capturing Eretz Yisrael and then work on their faith in Hashem and rise above their fear of the conquest. That’s why Moshe agreed to it, because he thought they were worthy of achieving this higher level of faith.

Yet the Gemara still considers it ill-advised that the spies went, because Hashem had said He was not commanding them to do this. He doesn’t expect to us to leap to levels of faith we may not be able to uphold.

I put the baby down to play with a toy and turned to face my daughter. If there was one thing I wished I could convey to her, it was the futility of worry. “Mammale, most of the things we worry about don’t end up happening.”

“Great,” she quipped. “So I’ll find more things to worry about, to avert their occurrence!”

I laughed. She was similar to me on so many fronts.

“You know what I daven for when I bentsh licht?” My thoughts turned serious.  “These are Hashem’s children that He gave to me to watch. So I daven, ‘Please don’t let me mess up Your work.’ And then I let go and allow the worry to go Up with the flames.”

 (Originally featured in Family First, Issue 648)