P arshas Chukas 

“This is the statute of the Torah that the Lord commanded saying…” (Bamidbar 19:2)

Shlomo Hamelech says in Koheles (7:23): “All this I tested with wisdom; I said ‘I will become wise’ but it was far from me.” Chazal say that Shlomo Hamelech was referring here to the mitzvah of Parah Adumah.

Why did Shlomo specifically pick the mitzvah of Parah Adumah to admit that he cannot understand it? There are other chukim in the Torah we cannot understand.

The chok of Parah Adumah has a distinguishing factor from other chukim. Shlomo Hamelech couldn’t understand how the Parah Adumah purifies those who are impure yet at the same time makes impure those who are pure. These two aspects seemingly contradict each other.

This gives us a rule for the entire Torah: Just like we cannot understand the reasoning behind the two opposing aspects of Parah Adumah so we cannot understand any chok or any mitzvah in the Torah. (Rav Shlomo Gantzfried Sefer Apriyon) “

“But why??? Why do I need to brush my teeth? Why does soda make holes in them?”

“Why do I need to go to bed at nine? No one else in my class does. It’s not fair!”

My son the doctor. My son the lawyer. The challenges of raising them.

I try to be a model parent and answer gently patiently explaining the complexities of plaque diplomatically defending the importance of sufficient sleep.

Yet the slew of questions keeps bombarding me. “But why?”

I know the experts’ approach is to explain respect and encourage. Yet every so often I think there’s place to throw Dr. Spock and Adele Faber to the winds and answer with a brief “Because I’m your mother and I said so!” <“>Throughout the generations people have erred assuming they can observe mitzvos based only on their understanding of them. This leads to heresy because we cannot fathom the reasons for mitzvos and certainly not make decisions based on our limited understanding.

The laws of Parah Adumah answer this spirit of heresy. It shows that even if at times we think we understand it’s forbidden to rely on our understanding as we may be mistaken. (ibid.) “

I know I’m not alone in suffering interrogation at the hands of my crew.

“My kids won’t make a move without questioning its purpose ” my friend Hadassah laughs. “No matter what I say they’ll be there with a ‘why’ before considering listening.”

Yet when she showed up at my door this afternoon her face pale there was no laughter in her voice. “You’ll never believe what happened just now ” she said. I sat her on my couch gave her a cold drink.

“I went shopping this morning with a huge list. On the way back I was running late. I wanted to be home before the kids got back from school so I took a taxi with all my bags. As we pulled into the parking lot of our building there were Esti and Chaim already home from preschool. They were sitting on the stoop of the building right next to the parking lot and were so happy to see me.

“I took my bags out of the car paid the driver and turned to greet them.” Hadassah sipped some water and took a deep breath. <“>It’s our obligation to keep mitzvos as a decree from the King. We need to do what Hashem wants because He said so not because we understand. It says in Devarim (18:13): “Be wholehearted with the L-rd your G-d.” We have to keep Hashem’s Torah unconditionally — without thoughts and calculations. This is the lesson of the Parah Adumah the chok of the whole Torah. (ibid.) “

Hadassah paused and when she continued speaking her voice was barely a whisper.

“The next few seconds keep replaying in my brain. I close my eyes and I keep seeing them.

“The driver was ready to leave. But somehow instead of putting the car in reverse to back out of the parking lot he pushed the gas and the car began moving forward up the curb straight to the stoop where Esti and Chaim were sitting.

“I screamed! ‘Run! Chaim! Esti! Run!’

“The whole thing must have taken seconds but it seemed frozen in agonizing slowness.

“The car smashed into the stoop with a force that rocked the stairs but Esti and Chaim were safely out of the way. Because they ran. Because I said so.” (Originally featured in Family First Issue 548)