“Every time talented, caring teachers are fired for no logical reason, young people who know about it are less likely to choose teaching as a profession”

Who Is Responsible? [Vacation Education / Issue 966]

The article “Vacation Education” by Sandy Eller hit a bull’s-eye. For years I’ve been telling people that it is ironic that people would not go to an ice cream store without the requisite hashgachah(s) yet send their children to camps and yeshivos with no one knowledgably responsible for the kashrus of the dairy and meat food service three times a day, seven days a week. Kol hakavod to AKO for taking the initial steps to address this situation.

I have been a rabbinic coordinator for the OU since 1991. There were two camps over the years under OU supervision, both coed and Modern Orthodox. Neither currently operates. I always said that these camps were probably the most kosher in the mountains.

I was the coordinator for the OU for these camps and we had an assigned mashgiach plus rav hamachshir for each camp. I would visit each camp periodically. Trust me, we did have many kashrus and Shabbos issues that had to be addressed. Most of them were quite easy to correct.

Rabbi Yoel Schonfeld

Baltimore, MD

The Principal’s Role [Principle of the Matter / Double Take — Issue 966]

Firstly I would like to compliment Rachel Samet on her very thought-provoking story. I always enjoy reading her articles. On this occasion however, I would like to take issue with the principal who claimed that the teacher’s inflexibility nearly cost them both their jobs.

As a teacher of over four decades, I can say that the class teacher was very correct in her approach; it is the principal who lost control of the situation and felt pressured to give in to wealthy domineering parents who like to lay down the law even if it may not be correct.

This principal should have been willing to lose her job rather than compromise on principles and dismiss a very promising and fair teacher who had her heart in the right place and tried so hard to recognize every pupil’s ability.

A principal’s role is to ensure the smooth running of the school and support her staff, not to give in to every whim and fancy of parents who become manipulative if their requests are not met.

Once again, thank you for a wonderful magazine.

Mrs. S. Halle

We Need to Update [Principle of the Matter / Double Take — Issue 966]

As a teacher’s coach and mentor for the past 12 years, I was disturbed by this week’s Double Take. A capable and caring teacher was let go because of an overbearing parent and board.

It is upsetting that non-educators wield so much power in the education arena, but it is a reality I see in many schools. There are fewer and fewer people going into education, and we need to be praising, thanking, and respecting those who do.

With that in mind, I do believe that some of the systems we follow are antiquated. While the mother was wrong to interfere and be a helicopter mom, even before this story, had I been on the scene, I would have coached the teacher to change her practice of giving certificates.

The whole concept of “Student of the Week” is a strange one. Don’t we want all of our students to be the best every day and every week? And once they get the award, what motivates them to continue to behave? Instead, I encourage teachers to compose a list of criteria for “Student of the Week,” preferably with the class, and then every week each student who fits the criteria gets the certificate and a small prize.

Yes, that means that some weeks the teacher is giving out 23 certificates and some weeks five. But isn’t that the goal?

Mrs. Tessler began her side of the story by saying she was in her 12th year of teaching, and one has to flow with the times, but she obviously was not able to. She was too makpid on the way she always did things. She was a wonderful and effective teacher for 12 years and has to understand that once in a while, teachers get a challenging student or class that throws them for a loop.

She felt let down by the principal, but she was not taking the principal’s advice. She should have agreed to disagree, but made the changes as the principal requested, as one should trust that the principal sees the bigger picture.

My message to Mr. and Mrs. Isaacs, the board, and to parents in general: Give your children the gift of resilience. Unless that new seat is dangerous or poses a medical issue, let your child be uncomfortable. Life is hard, but those children who were allowed to sweat the small stuff are more capable and confident adults because they know how to live in an imperfectly perfect world, full of setbacks and annoyances. Make your children tell you two to three good things that happened that day before they are allowed to kvetch.

School and home can and should work together, and adults should use good judgment as they navigate the unclear terrain, with respect and middos at the forefront of every move made.

Etti Siegel

Catapult Workshop Presenter, Teacher Mentor/Coach

A Practice with a Terrible Price [Principle of the Matter / Double Take — Issue 966]

The story brings up a social phenomenon that impacts chinuch in many ways. Social media has created an atmosphere in which filing complaints about everything and everyone that has anything to do with your child is considered a sign of good parenting. This takes a toll on many aspects of children’s lives.

Real parenting means spending time with your child, getting to know him or her, and developing a relationship. All that gets pushed aside when parents waste time on fighting against the people who work with their child. Both parents and children lose out because of this.

Every time talented, caring teachers are fired for no logical reason, young people who know about it are less likely to choose teaching as a profession. And the fewer candidates a principal has for any opening, the more he has to compromise and hire a less skilled staff. Again, students pay the price for irresponsible behavior of those parents who file endless complaints.

Children whose parents endlessly attack their teachers receive a dangerous message: “If you are the ultimate grouch, never appreciating anybody who does anything for you, than you will be viewed as important and powerful.” The parents are always surprised when these kids reach their teenage years and this warped message affects the way they treat their own parents.

Thanks for bringing this up.

Shifra

You’re a Public Servant [Principle of the Matter / Double Take — Issue 966]

Thank you for consistently providing intriguing reading material.

I know I may be the lone voice here, but I truly believe (as a teacher for close to two decades) that a teacher is a public service provider. Part of the job includes working with parents.

In the Double Take story, the teacher needs to be more flexible on what she is providing in her classroom. If the parents are requesting another writing reward for their daughter, the teacher should parry with a list of writing contests the student can enter, or recommend additional differentiation for any student who is an “advanced writer.”

Knocking heads with parents — whether or not they are rich and influential — won’t ever help a student succeed in your classroom. Learn to hear what parents are asking for, and strive to meet those needs without compromising your principles. If you are a teacher and public servant, resourcefulness is your ally, and black-and-white thinking will end with bad feelings.

Name withheld, so my students’ parents don’t come after me

Dream Big [Inbox / Issue 966]

As a former Maryland (Atlantic Seaboard) NCSYer, it was a zechus to spend Shabbos with Oliver Ferber the week you published Yonoson Rosenblum’s article about this amazing young man. Oliver and I shared time speaking and hopefully inspiring the teens of Philadelphia’s vibrant Aish Chaim outreach shul. NCSY still has a “secret sauce” for successful teen kiruv for decades and they are still doing it. Kol hakavod!

Right when I met Oliver on Friday afternoon, I pulled out my Mishpacha magazine and got his autograph. It may be worth a lot of money one day! (I reserve the rights to a future Abie Rotenberg song.)

He is sincere and articulate and a model NCSYer, bucking the trend of his classmates (again) to spend the year at Aish Gesher in Israel. I know my family and I were inspired by him over Shabbos. On Motzaei Shabbos, I took Oliver and my son to get a brachah from Rav Sholom Kamenetsky, and Oliver was truly touched to meet this gadol b’Yisrael.

I wanted to agree with Barbara Lehman’s thoughts about the OU-JLIC program as a great resource for students on secular college campus. But as the director of Yeshiva University’s James Striar School, YU’s beginner level kiruv program, I am hoping for even more for Oliver. It’s my hope that he can come to YU and still run cross country — as well as continuing his other sport, fencing — and do so without ever having to worry about Shabbos, which he would have to give up on any other college campus. Maybe he will even stay in Eretz Yisrael for a few more years and who knows what he can achieve.

Of course NCSY, YU, JLIC and all good rebbeim and yeshivos will weigh every talmid’s situation with their family desires and the talmid’s dreams, but let’s dream big for all our talmidim.

Rabbi Yehonoson Green

Director, Yeshiva University’s James Striar School of Jewish Studies

Director, NCSY Camp Sports

Experienced in Ups and Downs [Hot Deal or Hot Air / Issue 965]

As a real estate syndicator for over 20 years, I commend you for bringing the issue of “hot deals” to the attention of your readership.

In a society driven by immediate gratification, where people may be tempted by impulsive decisions without carefully considering their ramifications, considering the long term is ever so important. This is especially important when it comes to real estate investments that are often long term by nature.

As you pointed out, due diligence, diversification, asking an expert, transparency from the syndicator, and the syndicator having a professional team are important ways to minimize risk when looking at deals.

The article also touched on an important point regarding the appeal of a frum syndicator who recognizes “yehei mammon chavercha chaviv alecha k’shelcha.” However, without the proper hishtadlus, even with the best of intentions, the syndicator can’t fulfill this Mishnah.

I would like to add “experience” to the list — meaning, a strong track record through economic cycles. Another important factor is the syndicator’s patience in obtaining a new deal. Experienced syndicators pass on dozens — often hundreds — of deals until they feel confident about a particular deal’s chance of success.

While all markets fluctuate and have ups and downs, the real estate market has recently been through a period of low interest rates and easily obtainable debt. This, among other factors, has caused real estate prices to rise. This near-perfect environment has allowed inexperienced syndicators to profit and amass large portfolios, meaning true experience and grit were not necessary ingredients for success.

In the new reality of higher interest rates, debt markets becoming more subdued and talk of impending recession, the days of easy money are drawing to a close. It is in these markets that true experience shines through and allows investors to weather the storm.

Wishing everyone siyata d’Shmaya in all their investments, particularly those in real estate.

Yosef Abraham

Primex Capital

For a Select Few [Hot Deal or Hot Air / Issue 965]

While the “Hot Deal or Hot Air” article did a good job describing the pitfalls inherent in real estate investing, explaining why the frum world seems uniquely susceptible to them, and providing some best practices to follow, I felt that there was a critical point missing.

The piece ends with a quote from Joseph Kahn stating that “the recent stories should not stop you from investing in real estate,” but the truth is that — even were we to disregard the recent downturn and profusion of outright scams — the vast majority of people should never invest directly in a single property or even a small portfolio via a private fund. This is for at least two reasons.

First, real estate is considered an “alternative asset,” and, as with other alternative assets like gold, cryptocurrencies, or artwork, should only ever make up a small percentage of a person’s portfolio (which should mostly consist of stocks, bonds, and cash). Even that is generally applicable only to larger portfolios; individuals who are not wealthy and primarily saving for near-term purchases like a house down payment should probably not have any alternative assets at all. And many people are already heavily exposed to real estate without even realizing it by virtue of owning some or all of their own home.

Second, even for those few for whom having some exposure to real estate makes sense, publicly traded Real Estate Investment Trusts (commonly known as REITs) or mutual funds that hold REITs are almost always preferable to buying individual properties.

Because they are publicly traded securities, they are more liquid, meaning that — unlike a single building or a partnership interest in a private fund — you can sell them whenever you want. Additionally, they generally hold a large basket of properties, in many cases numbering in the hundreds or thousands, and thus provide far more diversity than investing in a single building or small group of buildings.

Finally, REITs and mutual funds are registered with the SEC and are required to abide by significantly more rules and regulations than a private fund.

Taking into account all of the above, I think the correct takeaway from recent predicament is not, “do a better job investing in real estate with your chaverim,” but actually, “do not invest in real estate at all unless you have a fairly significant net worth, and even then you should probably do so indirectly via REITs or mutual funds.”

D.B.

Chicago, IL

Books to Treasure [Tales for the Child Within / Issue 965]

The article on the Machanayim books brought many warm memories of arriving to stay in our Opa and Oma’s house. Each visit was welcomed with a new Machanayim book, and of course, chocolate on our beds.

Although Oma has been gone for a while, we still treasure all those visits — and of course, we have the collection of books on our shelves.

An Emanuel Grandchild

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 967)