“The Israeli army’s tendency to ‘kochi v’otzem yadi’ should not preclude us from expressing our hakaras hatov to those who serve”

Not Just a Business [Inbox / Issue 1067]

Joining the discussion about the seminary girls in Eretz Yisrael who were unable to return home due to the outbreak of the war, I’d like to share my perspective as the mother of a girl in Seminar Yerushalayim. Baruch Hashem, my daughter had an unbelievable year. I constantly heard about the amazing classes, stunning programming and the staff’s efforts to make every girl shine.

If someone would have told me a month ago that my daughter would still be in Eretz Yisrael waiting for a safe passageway home a full week after seminary ended, I wouldn’t have believed them. But Hashem has a plan, and that’s what happened. What shocked me was how Seminar stayed open, serving food, taking care of the girls emotionally, offering daily programming with fun, and laying down the rules for a safe stay, without knowing when it would end. How these mothers managed to still run a seminary with their own personal change of schedule is mind-boggling. There was a constant presence of teachers, secretaries, and the principal. What a huge kiddush Hashem.

A while ago there was an article in one of our publications discussing if seminary is merely a business. This experience has shown me it isn’t! The daily warm emails assuring us our girls would have a place to be as long as necessary showed me what a mosad run al pi Torah looks like.

Yasher koach!

Tzivi Koff

Group Effort [Shul with a View / Issue 1067]

I feel so grateful for the opportunity to have been involved in the effort to send Shabbos food to our brave soldiers as described in Rabbi Eisemann’s article. It was pure Hashgachah that I was on the phone with Tuvia as he arrived at his base.

It’s important to note that I was just the shaliach, and I did not pay for the food. I believe in Am Yisrael stepping up to the plate, and I sent out a message that Shabbos food was needed for our soldiers. HaKadosh Baruch Hu has given me friends, colleagues, and family who indeed stepped up to the plate and by the time Shabbos came the cost was covered. My wife and I wish we could do this more often, but it’s our hope that even that one Shabbos sent a message to our soldiers how much we love and care about them.

Additionally, I’d like to mention my good friend Yisrael Donowitz of Kiddush Club Catering who produces high-quality, delicious food and provided the Shabbos food at an extremely discounted price, if not at a loss. Simi Krieser of Yoeli’s donated his delicious cholent at no cost. I’m so blessed to be part of such a wonderful nation. Mi k’amcha Yisrael!

Avrohom Moshe Gruner

Thanking Those Who Serve [Guestlines / Issue 1066]

Thank you, thank you, Rabbi Avrohom Neuberger for your thoughtful insight on how the Israeli army’s tendency to “kochi v’otzem yadi” should not preclude us from expressing our hakaras hatov to those who serve.

So thank you:

To the moms who have barely slept for the last 600+ days, cell phone always at the ready.

To the young wives with three kids under the age of six, sending their husbands off yet again for another round of service.

To the workers once again leaving their jobs and businesses, struggling to keep afloat financially.

To the men who wear combat boots and ceramic vests 24/7, who carry heavy equipment in the boiling sun or freezing rain, who go weeks at a time without a warm meal, a shower, a phone call, a visit home — and then do it all over again.

To those who have seen things no one should ever see, things they can never unsee; to those who are trying to recover from injuries that will never heal; to those who have been to more levayahs and shivah houses than they care to count; to those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for the safety and protection of their nation.

We, who fervently daven and learn Torah for the sake of your safety, appreciate and applaud your mesirus nefesh as you perform this very necessary hishtadlus in the defense of artzeinu hakedoshah.

Chava Katz

Learn This, Too [Inbox / Issue 1066]

In Rabbi Zweig’s inbox letter, he mentioned the phenomenon of bochurim having very few responsibilities, while qualifying that it’s no one’s fault.

Please, Rabbi Zweig do not say it’s “no one’s fault.”

Bochurim should know that in bein hazmanim they’re expected to help at home! Parents need to teach their boys that being responsible men means being available to clean the car and shelves of seforim before Pesach, to build the succah, and to generally help out as needed, even bringing a sibling to an appointment.

Chassidish bochurim know they are expected to be ready for marriage starting from the age of 19, in some circles as early as 18. They do not all get married at that age, but it’s a mindset.

In litvish circles we suffer from this “cultural problem” because boys are only expected to learn. When are they trained to be responsible husbands and fathers?

When my brother came home from yeshivah for Pesach break, I remember my mother a”h making sure he knew how to wash the floor. “When your wife has a baby,” she told him, “you’ll need to know how to do this, too.”

Mrs. R. Friedman

A proud former student of Bais Yaakov of Baltimore

Pro-Pareve [TLC Talks / Issue 1066]

I was deeply moved by the recent reflections of Rabbi Ari Schonfeld and Rabbi Yerachmiel Garfield on the “middle child” in our yeshivah system — the boys who aren’t in crisis and aren’t stars. They’re not floundering, but they’re not thriving either. I especially appreciated the “middle child” analogy. It’s powerful — and important. There’s something we must recognize: In a family, there is only one oldest and one youngest. But there are usually several middle children. The same is true in our schools.

The “middle” isn’t a small segment — it’s the majority. And yet, as Rabbi Zev Leff once pointed out to me: there are fleishig, milchig, and pareve bochurim. Everyone wants to work with the fleishig boys — the fiery, mainstream ones. And of course, everyone runs to save the milchig boys — the ones at risk. But no one wants to work with the pareve boys.

No one is focusing on the middle majority. These are the boys who show up, mostly follow the rules, and genuinely want to grow — but often go unnoticed because they don’t demand attention in either direction. And yet these pareve boys — solid, sincere, and full of untapped potential — are the backbone of our yeshivah system.

So here’s the question: Why should these thoughtful, capable young men have to just “get by” in yeshivos that don’t speak to them? And why should they be placed in at-risk environments when they’re not at risk? These boys don’t need to be saved. They need the space and guidance to become fleishig — on fire about their own lives. Not only in the beis medrash, but in their offices, their shuls, their relationships, and their homes.

There’s a growing phenomenon today that we rarely speak about: middle-aged men who went to top-tier yeshivos, who did everything “right,” but now find themselves in a kind of spiritual midlife crisis. They go through the motions, but the passion is gone. There’s no bren, no clarity, no sense of ownership in their avodas Hashem. They were never taught to connect Torah to the life they would eventually live.

That’s why I encourage every parent: If your son is a thoughtful, solid bochur with kochos waiting to emerge, look for a yeshivah that won’t just see him — but will build him. A place that will help him discover the derech and avodah that speaks to who he is. After all, you can’t make someone excited about a life he never chose.

Rav Shmuel Luger

Give Credit Where It’s Due [Endnote / Issue 1066]

I would like to respectfully draw your attention to an error in the second paragraph of your article. You state: “Years ago, when we recorded Uncle Moishy’s Shh! It’s Loshon Hora...”

In fact, Shh! It’s Loshon Hora, as correctly shown in the illustration on the page, was written and recorded by my rebbi, Rabbi Yaakov Pinsky. At the time, he was a maggid shiur at Yeshivas Shaarei Chaim, a branch of Torah Ore, under the leadership of Rav Chaim Pinchas Scheinberg ztz”l.

The project was entirely unrelated to Uncle Moishy. Rabbi Pinsky subsequently produced a follow-up titled Oh No! It’s Loshon Hora Again, along with additional volumes in the Safety series, addressing important topics like health and personal safety.

The legendary radio-style exchanges on the recordings — including the distinctive “squelch” voice effects — were performed entirely by Rabbi Pinsky himself, using a clever hand-over-mouth technique and throat manipulation. He would often replicate these voices during shiurim, to the great amusement and engagement of his talmidim.

Shloime Heimann

London

Perpetuating Stereotypes [Cover / Issue 1067]

In the many judgment calls you make on a weekly basis, you do an excellent job on the vast majority, so please pardon me for reaching out regarding an atypical oversight.

When non-Jewish pundits or publications insinuate that Jews manipulate the decisions of government officials to the benefit of Jews or Israel, we don’t like it, and at times characterize it as anti-Semitic incitement in the manner of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion and the Nazi propaganda machine of Goebbels yemach shemo.

Your cover image of Prime Minister Netanyahu’s head superimposed over President Trump plays right into this trope. Netanyahu’s highlighted eye is open with a calculated look, while Trump’s eyes are not even visible and he appears as a mere puppet of the alert and calculating Israeli. The appearance of a massive explosive cloud in the background and the words, “Mission in Progress,” only adds to the cringe.

If this exact image were to have run in the New York Times or BBC we would be calling it out. Even though your cover also states, “A grateful world holds its breath,” it’s unclear whether that means gratitude toward both leaders or just the “puppeteer.”

While your Jewish readers understood it as a message of thanks that Trump added American military thump to what Netanyahu rightfully started and hoped for, our adversaries would no doubt see this as our apparent smug admission of the predatory, manipulative Jew. They would also see apparent hypocrisy in us calling them out in public for what we blatantly “admit” to in our own publications.

I understand we cannot live our lives paranoid about how our enemies will interpret what we say and do. What is written between covers probably doesn’t warrant such careful scrutiny, but on the front cover itself we should not be providing our enemies with such incriminating gifts.

Name Withheld

Wide-Ranging Reach [Guardian of the Gate / Issue 1063]

Thank you for your amazing magazine full of Torahdig content. Special shout-out to Gedalia Guttentag for his English-themed articles, which we all enjoy.

While I am sure that everyone enjoyed and appreciated David Damen’s recent article about the rosh yeshivah, Rav Avrohom Gurwicz, I’m sure that us English expats appreciated it ever so much more, so a special thank you for that.

I just wanted to mention that the article failed to mention the Rosh Yeshivah’s seforim, the Anfei Erez series, which are used worldwide, and cover the sugyas with the Rosh Yeshivah’s classic thoroughness and lomdus.

Additionally, while the article mentioned Gateshead’s veteran maggid shiur Rav Yosef Aharon Oppeneheimer, it didn’t mention his biannual journal, Kol HaTorah, worth an article in its own right. This unbelievable publication, which covers virtually all Torah topics, reaches an amazingly diverse audience, and enables and encourages literally hundreds of bnei Torah in their journey of iyun and harbatzas haTorah.

A grateful ben Torah,

Tzvi Gutman 

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 1068)