“The story of the frum miluim families is tragic. As they say in Israel, we are shkufim, invisible”

Fond Memories [Week Link / Issue 1038]

Your article on the various Yarchei Kallahs made interesting reading. However, there was one glaring omission.

Over 45 years ago, on several occasions, we attended the iconic Gateshead Yarchei Kallah run by the indefatigable Reb Ephraim Pinnick and his wife. It took place in the Gateshead Yeshivah itself, with accommodation and meals, and also on the Durham University campus and in the Lake District at other times.

The Yarchei Kallah were held for one week in the summer, with illustrious maggidei shiur providing shiurim at various levels for the men in the morning, while the ladies were ferried to the beach, where the men joined them for a sandwich lunch and the rest of the afternoon. Further shiurim were held in the evening, together with a ladies’ program, and helping girls were provided to assist large families with their children.

The Yarchei Kallah made a great impression on the children, who saw how their fathers chose to spend their summer holidays, and the camaraderie between the families was second to none. Our children are now grandparents, but they still have fond memories of our Yarchei Kallah holidays.

Frances Taylor

Ramat Beit Shemesh

Rashi Had Some Yerushalmi [Guestlines / Issue 1038]

Thank you for the Guestlines article “Talmud Yerushalmi Finally Gets Its Crown” by Rabbi Y.D.C. Cohen on the learning of Talmud Yerushalmi.

I am grateful to Rabbi Cohen. When I first “dipped my toe” into Yerushalmi on Maseches Berachos, I found his shiurim informative and very clear. They paved the way for me to complete Seder Zera’im, so I have much hakaras hatov.

In his article, he mentions the following: “In fact, some Rishonim, most notably Rashi, did not have access to Talmud Yerushalmi at all.” I find this difficult to believe. Unlike Tosafos, who quote the Talmud Yerushalmi on almost every second or third daf throughout Bavli, Rashi in a few places does quote Yerushalmi in his peirush on Bavli.

A specific example comes in Sanhedrin 5b, divrei hamas’chil “Rabi Chiya,” where he quotes the Yerushalmi of Maseches Sheviis. There are other examples throughout Bavli. In Seder Kodshim — which, interestingly, does not have any Yerushalmi on it —Rashi again quotes the Yerushalmi, this time on Maseches Shekalim. Rabbi Cohen points out that Shekalim only has Yerushalmi on it, and not Bavli; but Rashi actually does not use the word Yerushalmi in his peirush. Examples of this are Bechoros 51a, divrei hamas’chil “Metzarfin”; Arachin 4a divrei hamas’chil “Chotei”; Temurah 2b, divrei hamas’chil “V’ein meivin”; and finally in Kerisos 5b, divrei hamas’chil “Tenu.”

It would seem that Rashi certainly had the Yerushalmi version of Shekalim, as he frequently quotes it, as seen in the examples above; but as we saw in Sanhedrin, he also had the Yerushalmi of Sheviis in Seder Zera’im. Maybe it was just these two masechtos that he had access to. One final note of interest is that he only specifically uses the word Yerushalmi in the Sanhedrin example, whereas for the ones in Kodshim, he just keeps quoting Shekalim without using the word Yerushalmi.

Boruch Kahan

London
 

Icing on the Cake [A Storied People / Issue 1038]

I am writing in reference to Rabbi Nachman Seltzer’s story titled “Lucky Day.”

Thank you for publishing Miri’s story. She was so surprised when she read it in Mishpacha this week. She told me that at the time this was going on, she was really terrified about what was happening, but she kept saying to herself, “Let this be for a shidduch for me.” One month later she was a kallah. Her chasunah is in two weeks.

That is the icing on the cake.

Many thanks.

Her Bubby

She Wasn’t a Korban [A Storied People / Issue 1038]

While the story of the girl who almost missed her flight and wound up with money to give to tzedakah to someone who needed it had a beautiful message of Hashgachah pratis, the conclusion didn’t fully resonate with me. It implies that Hashem orchestrated her discomfort solely so she could help the man in need.

Hashem isn’t limited in any way, and while the protagonist may have felt comforted by seeing how the distress she experienced ultimately helped someone else, it’s essential to recognize that Hashem has countless other ways to bring events to fruition. There may be infinite reasons behind the events that unfolded, and what’s certain is that His Master Plan took this girl and her needs into full consideration, and that she wasn’t simply a pawn to bring the man tzedakah.

C.I.

Help Thy Neighbor [Guestlines / Issue 1037]

Rabbi Aryeh Kerzner’s article, “Chesed Starts at Home,” was written beautifully, yet it caused me so much pain.

I live in a very chareidi community in Eretz Yisrael, and my husband has been serving in miluim for 415 days (as of Sunday, November 24). We aren’t the only ones; there are 70 miluim families in my community.

The story of the frum miluim families is tragic. As they say in Israel, we are shkufim, invisible. The municipalities do nothing to help us, and neither do any private people. They’re all too busy running around the country helping others. Why help a “boring” family who lives down the street from you? It’s much more exciting to help secular or dati families in other cities and be able to tell all your friends what amazing work you are doing.

This is a systemic pattern, from the Americans who send help and gifts, to gvirim who arrange Shabbos getaways for miluim families… they all want to help others — not us. We just aren’t that exciting. Helping us won’t get Mishpacha or Sivan Rahav-Meir to write an article about you.

And that brings me to you, the editorial staff. Why won’t you write about us? Shine a light on our plight? Maybe it’s because the topic of frum men serving in the army is so controversial? But our husbands are already in this situation, so there is no changing that.

We are at home alone with our children, on Shabbos and chag as well. We have been turned into single mothers, and the entire family is suffering. We are immensely proud of the shlichut our husbands are doing — I wouldn’t change a thing. But yes, we need help. We are emotionally and physically drained, and seeing everyone rushing to help others while ignoring us is extremely painful and hurtful.

Tamar Taylor

Setting the Record Straight [Guestlines / Issue 1037]

Thank you for the article emphasizing doing chesed among family members. I just wanted to make one small but important correction regarding the story of the descendant of the Chofetz Chaim who helped his wife before going to Shacharis. In the article, it says that he came to Shacharis late.

However, in the version of this story that I read a few years ago in one of Rabbi Paysach Krohn’s books, he specifically says that while the young man missed Shacharis in yeshivah, he joined a later minyan, taking care to daven tefillah b’tzibbur properly.

These details are important.

Name Withheld

Just Two Emails [Make Aliyah Great Again / Issue 1037]

I want to respond to this article, as we just made aliyah in August. Aside from the tremendous resources and assistance provided by Nefesh B’Nefesh and the Misrad Ha’aliyah V’haklitah, all it took to get my Israeli dental license was two emails. All I had to provide was proof of five years’ experience and a letter of good standing from the dental board.

I’m happy to discuss our whole experience, but at the very least I wanted to clarify this aspect.

Dr. Yossi Schwimmer

Hope for Howell? [The Kichels 1037]

Thank you for last week’s Kichels! You can always be sure that you are making some demographic feel understood with the Kichels. I’m in the same exact stage as Chaykie, living in a basement while everyone around me is figuring out how to buy a home, and really needed to hear that there’s nothing wrong with me!

There is a new affordable housing project going on in Howell, and many people in Lakewood are winning slots. Baruch Hashem, this is helping many people along the journey of being able to own something affordable. We’re hoping it will take off and be popular enough to make it into a Kichels strip someday!

A Kichels Fan
 

Oasis for the Soul [Never Too Far / Issue 1033]

The article “Never Too Far” was such an excellent piece of journalism. It was so vibrant that it touched all the senses… the smells of New Delhi, the clear air in the mountains. It was easy reading that touched our emotions.

The travelogue told tales of wanderers who felt so low or who found salvation on high, and Moshe was there to ignite the small spark of the Yiddishe neshamah.

The Bayit Hayehudi and Chabad outposts provide an oasis for souls who are crying out on their journeys.

Michael Goldstein

Karmiel, Israel

Those Were the Days [True Account / Issue 1033]

I just saw the magazine that had an article about Moshe Yess.

I remember him from when I lived in Los Angeles in the ’70s. We learned a bit of Gemara together. I remember him really enjoying the depth of thought in it.

Then I went to Jerusalem with my family to learn in Dvar Yerushalayim and we lived in Mattersdorf where we were neighbors with Shalom Levine. I remember when he and Moshe started the Megama duo. They were really great in their time; my family loved to listen to their music.

The article brought back some really nice memories.

Name Withheld

990s Don’t Exist [Opening the Books / Issue 1030]

I want to thank Mrs. Edelstein for broaching the third-rail topic of tuition, where the money goes, and can we do anything to fix the system. Two possible solutions not mentioned that could have interesting implementations are:

treating the tuition break as a true loan, with a non-interest-bearing lien placed on the home of the parents at given amounts (e.g., every $50,000), and payable at sale/change of legal ownership or refinance. This has the advantage of not causing any change to cash flow for parents, but creates a future cash flow for schools that can be either collected later or sold off to supplement current funds.

Publicly thanking those who pay full tuition (or who have but are down on funds at this time). It may not do much, but at least it would make those who do pay feel better about it, make parents think twice about asking for a break, and also might get some grandparents to contribute money so their adult children get on the list.

Eli Blum

Lawrence, NY

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 1039)