“There are few as brave as Rabbi Lopiansky. May he continue to supply us with true Torah thoughts. We are fortunate to have him”

Yeshivos, Take Note [Undivided Attention / Issue 1035]

Kudos to Rabbi Dr. Nachi Felt for sharing his personal story and shedding light on the many challenges facing children with ADHD. His insights, including the strategies and methods he uses to help his clients succeed despite their diagnoses, are invaluable.

One area that Rabbi Dr. Felt touches on only briefly, but which I believe is crucial to a child’s success, is how schools develop and equip their teachers with the necessary skills to work with children who have ADHD. Equally important is ensuring that teachers are held accountable for implementing these strategies.

My son was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety a few years ago. These diagnoses come with emotional dysregulation and executive dysfunction, both of which can significantly impact his learning. He is currently under the care of both a psychologist and a psychiatrist for ongoing treatment and medication management. My husband and I are deeply committed to our son’s success, and we work closely with his psychologist, attending sessions ourselves to learn the most effective strategies for supporting him.

Despite these efforts, our son continues to struggle academically and emotionally. His school, unfortunately, is not equipped to meet his needs. We have had our psychologist meet with the school to discuss how they could better support him, but the level of commitment from the school has been limited.

For example, when we asked a former rebbi of our son to implement a small adjustment to help him in class, the rebbi responded, “I have 27 students in my class, which only affords me three minutes per child while we are learning Mishnayos. I can’t be expected to give extra time to your son.”

It’s clear that our community has made great strides in understanding and accepting children with challenges like ADHD, but when it comes to some yeshivos, there seems to be a disconnect.

Is the only way for a child like mine to receive proper support to move to a Modern Orthodox school that focuses on classroom integration? This is a heartbreaking choice for many parents who want their children to grow up within a community that aligns with their hashkafic values.

I urge any principals or board chairs reading this letter to take action. Please invest in professional development for your rebbeim and teachers — training that will equip them with the tools to support children with ADHD and other neurodivergent conditions.

Additionally, it is crucial to create an environment where teachers are held accountable and incentivized to implement these strategies effectively.

Our community has developed incredible programs to support children at risk or those who have gone off the path of Torah. Why should we not apply the same level of effort to ensure that children who are struggling with issues like ADHD do not feel lost, ignored, or unsupported in school — preventing these issues from escalating to more serious challenges?

Name Withheld

A Source of Inspiration [Undivided Attention / Issue 1035]

I wanted to thank you for publishing the insightful article about Rabbi Nachi Felt. Reading about his difficult childhood, his struggles to succeed, and his eventual success as both a rabbi and psychologist was deeply inspiring. It wasn’t only a fascinating story, but also a great source of encouragement for both me and my husband, parents of an adorable child with ADHD.

Just this week, we made the challenging decision to start our almost five-year-old son on Ritalin. While we are already seeing positive results, we can’t help but second-guess ourselves from time to time. And then, this article arrived! What a timely and valuable reminder that a deeply struggling child, with the right support, can go on to achieve, excel, and even join a meaningful helping profession.

I plan to keep this article close by as a source of inspiration, so that we can continue to hold an optimistic and empowering vision for our son as he navigates his childhood and adolescence with ADHD.

Name Withheld, Israel

Dancing Lights [Standing Ovation / Issue 1035]

I’m responding to Dovid Nachman Golding’s article remembering composer Sheya Mendelowitz a”h. The last time I spoke to Sheya, he asked me if I knew what was the most popular song in the frum world. He told me it was his original composition to “Siman Tov U’mazel Tov,” composed for the grandstand wedding of the Belzer Rebbe’s son in 1993.

Sheya Mendlowitz’s signature on an album or concert was always a sign of professionalism. I grew up with Sheya in the Pirchei minyan on 14th Avenue, and of course at Camp Torah Vodaas. He was so musical then, leading the choirs in Color War.

From the very beginning, he had a knack for knowing what songs would make it in the Jewish music world. He got Avraham Fried’s career started by giving out his first album, No Jew Will Be Left Behind, for free at the camp bus stops. I remember driving around the mountains with my friends back then, playing the song “Keil Hahoda’os” by Rabbi Baruch Chait and waiting for Fried to kvetch out the words “u’meniach b’kedushah….”

I loved going to Sheya’s HASC concerts and dancing in the aisles with my colorful lights. (They nicknamed me “Dancing Lights!”) I heard from a close friend of Sheya that he would wait for me to dance, and then he knew that the crowd would be leibedig. He even featured me on one of the HASC videos dancing in front of the stage.

Like Dovid Nachman Golding wrote in his article, “Sheya, it’s not the same without you.” Yehi zichro baruch.

Rabbi Moshe Shochet

Brooklyn, NY

We Know the Answer [War Games / Issue 1035]

I was deeply disturbed by the cover page of this week’s magazine: “Iran’s low tech drones... can Israel fight back?” While it’s definitely an eye-catching headline, it’s totally contrary to our Torah perspective and not befitting a frum magazine. “Uv’har Tzion tihiyeh pleitah — on Har Tziyon there will be a remnant,” was a promise made to us by Hashem.

Hashem is watching over us, which is clearly evidenced by the myriad nissim we’ve witnessed since October 7. Many of the miracles we witnessed can’t be explained by modern warfare. Yes, the IDF is fighting a hard war, but their successes aren’t because of their superior weapons or abilities. It’s only because of the tremendous nissim that Hashem provides for us that we survive.

So of course the answer to question is, yes. Israel can and will fight back and triumph with the help of Hashem. That should be our perspective and headlines or articles that aren’t in line with this shouldn’t be published.

Esti Becker

Kew Gardens Hills, NY

The Highlight of Our Shabbos [Endnote / Issue 1034]

A big thank you to Riki Goldstein for her brilliant overview of Yigal Calek and his musical genius. I enjoyed reminiscing about all of his songs and taking the opportunity to listen to the ones I was not aware of.

I don’t often see Endnote addressed in the Inbox. Riki Goldstein produces fascinating and relevant coverage of Jewish music week after week. Though we may be quieter than the Kichels fans (and certainly quieter than Rabbi Feldman’s fans), please let her know that her column is a highlight of our Shabbos.

T. Cohen

Baltimore,MD

A Berenstain Bears Story [The Kichels / Issue 1034]

I usually enjoy reading The Kichels, which points out the idiosyncrasies of frum life. But this week, I was horrified. It was a regular “Berenstain Bears” story, where the father attempts to do something clever, and the children point out how foolish and disconnected he is. This is such a goyishe concept, and so unhealthy for Yiddishe children to read. It encourages them to think of their parents as old fools.

All a parent has to do is start connecting with his children when they are young, and then the beautiful relationship will hopefully continue into their teen and adult years (a concept I heard years ago from Rabbi Yanky Horowitz). The problem is when parents are too busy for their kids when they are young, and then try to start building a relationship with them in their teenage years.

But The Kichels is read by children, too, and the message of this one is all wrong.

A Mother of Teens and Adults

Still the Basis Today [Friends in High Places / Issue 1034]

The article by Pearl Herzog about American presidents and Jews showed the historic and deep connection between the United States and Israel. But there was one omission. President Johnson was the main driver of UN Resolution 242, which stated that all countries in that area had the right to exist in peace, and it guaranteed the right to free maritime passage. Also, any return of land was based on these requirements. That resolution is still the basis of any Middle East negotiations to this day.

Name Withheld

The True Measure of Our Success [Ring of Healing / Issue 1033]

As I delved into Rabbi Aaron Lopiansky’s masterful essay, “The Little Teivah and the Foolish Shepherd,” I couldn’t help but feel the weight of his profound insights. The reflections on Noach, his teivah, and the tragedy of missed opportunities strike deep chords within me, particularly as I grapple with the events of October 7.

Rabbi Lopiansky invites us not just to witness destruction, but to take responsibility for it. It’s not enough to stand on the sidelines or hide within our metaphorical teivos — we must step forward and engage.

Noach’s story isn’t just a tale of survival; it’s an indictment. When Noach steps out into a world destroyed, his immediate reaction is grief and anger. He questions Hashem’s mercy, much like we question today: How could a world so filled with potential be reduced to ruin?

Rabbi Lopiansky draws on the Zohar (1:67b) to remind us of Hashem’s response — Noach was not just meant to build a teivah for himself; he was meant to intervene, to pray for the world. His failure wasn’t in his survival but in his isolation, in thinking only of himself and his family. The message is clear: We can’t just protect ourselves; we’re tasked with safeguarding others.

We stand amid the wreckage of our own Mabul. The massacre on Simchas Torah was not just a tragedy — it was a churban, a destruction that stripped away more than just lives. Communities were torn apart, families shattered, and a profound sense of safety and hope was washed away.

Rabbi Lopiansky forces us to ask the hard questions: Have we, too, sought refuge in our teivos, remaining safe while the world around us crumbles? Have we truly acted with the urgency and empathy needed to prevent such devastation, or have we contented ourselves with prayers that safeguard only our own?

The emotional weight of this reflection is immense: How do we reconcile our responsibility in the face of such destruction? Do our prayers and actions reflect the collective care and accountability that our broken world desperately needs?

This is a deeply uncomfortable question, but one we must face. “Foolish shepherds, where have you been?” echoes G-d’s rebuke to Noach and reverberates through the generations to us.

Rabbi Lopiansky masterfully captures the profound pain of witnessing the loss of our brothers and sisters — those who have been swept away by the tides of secularism, family dysfunction, and emotional abuse. It is all too easy to distance ourselves from their struggles, to justify their absence by saying, “They chose their own path.” But can we really absolve ourselves of responsibility so easily? Like Noach, who focused on building his own teivah while the world drowned outside, have we, too, built spiritual walls and closed our doors, neglecting those who needed us most?

The question is not whether we can save them, but whether we have truly tried. Have we prayed enough? Have we reached out enough? Have we loved enough? The stakes are too high to remain silent, and the time for action is now.

When we embody this kind of compassion, we not only draw others closer to Torah but also fulfill our sacred duty as representatives of Torah in the world.

The true measure of our success as Torah-observant Jews isn’t found in the rigidity of our observance alone, but in the softness of our hearts toward others.

Baruch C. Cohen

Los Angeles, CA

Few Are as Brave [Ring of Healing / Issue 1033]

I first want to commend Rabbi Lopiansky on another thought-provoking article, which yet again displayed his seichel hayashar in a world thirsting for it.

I don’t want to comment on the contents of the article directly as I’m not sure what I can add to his shiur klali. Instead, I’d like to focus on the fact that such an article was written.

This is an article by a bona fide Torah luminary of the “yeshivishe world,” bemoaning the fact that not enough attention is being paid to those lost in the tragedy that was October 7 and those that have fallen and continue to fall in the battle defending our people and our land.

It boggles the mind that many of the leaders of the yeshivah world do not talk about these topics, leaving us unsure about their opinions and longing for a clear-headed thinking approach that resonates with us.

Rabbi Lopiansky asks, “Why is it that none of the chareidi newspapers can write up detailed accounts of the families of soldiers who have lost their beloved child or father in the war?”

I believe Rabbi Lopiansky knows the answer to that question. There are few as brave as Rabbi Lopiansky. May he continue to supply us with true Torah thoughts. We are fortunate to have him.

Aryeh Berkowitz

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 1036)