My Friend, How to Say Goodbye?
| June 7, 2017Arav is expected to be present at all the life-cycle events of his congregants. That includes officiating at the funerals of his congregants and eulogizing those members who have departed This World.
Some funerals though are more painful than others.
When Rabbi Avrohom Aronovitch confided in me a number of years ago that he had been diagnosed with a dreaded disease my heart ached in empathy. For years the illness attacked him with a vengeance until Wednesday 21 Iyar when just minutes before sunset Reb Avrohom left This World.
To accommodate family members who would be arriving from Canada the levayah was scheduled for Friday morning May 19. And as Reb Avrohom was a talmid of the Yeshiva Gedola of Passaic it was decided to have the funeral at the yeshivah.
I have officiated at many funerals including funerals of other individuals who passed away at ages we refer to as “young.”
I have also presided at the funerals of people with whom I had a personal relationship.
However I cannot recall having to be maspid a friend and peer who had passed away in the prime of life at 55 leaving a wife and 12 children deep in mourning.
The recognition of the task before me to be maspid Reb Avrohom was daunting to say the least. The self-imposed pressure I felt to speak about him and express my thoughts in a coherent manner was intense.
Reb Avrohom was indeed precious. As a young man in Winnipeg he never saw a yeshivah. Yet somehow his Jewish heart compelled him to travel over an hour by public transportation on two buses to frequent the Jewish Library of Winnipeg where he devoured books on Jewish history.
After completing college Reb Avrohom made his way to Cairo Egypt and from there — after his own personal “Yetzias Mitzrayim” — he arrived in Jerusalem.
When he was approached at the Kosel by Rav Meir Schuster ztz”l and asked if he’d like to spend time in a yeshivah he immediately responded “Yes!” He then innocently asked “Are there any yeshivos in Jerusalem?”
After a stint in Aish HaTorah and one year in law school in Toronto Reb Avrohom made his way to Ohr Somayach in Monsey where his gifted mind was given the opportunity to grow by leaps and bounds. He would eventually make his way to Passaic’s Yeshiva Gedola where he learned with hasmadah for six years in the kollel eventually becoming a rebbi and an administrator at the local yeshivah.
He impacted the lives of many many individuals.
For me Reb Avrohom was a friend. I loved him dearly. In the lonely world of rabbanus he was that rare and precious commodity: a true and sincere yedid. He was there for me in my difficult times and was my confidant and cheerleader always pushing me to add another shiur or another minyan.
One day he told me that when he arrived by subway at Sloan for his treatments the escalator that connected the subway tunnel to the street level was not working. He couldn’t imagine he said how he would make it up the 70 steps but he had no choice. He put his head down and began to climb one step at a time.
When he reached the top and turned around he was incredulous at what he had accomplished.
And as I look back at the “only 55 years” Reb Avrohom was granted and realize what he accomplished I am equally incredulous.
But mostly I just feel alone; I have lost my best friend. (Originally featured in Mishpacha Issue 663)
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