How dare you or Where were you?

T

hose were the two responses we weighed as we developed the plans for this week’s theme issue about the transition from kollel to the workplace and the challenges of juggling priorities when your prime values don’t get the prime slice of your day.

The “how dare you” concern is something we often face. We have a vast and varied readership. All hold Torah learning sacred, and many dream of finding a future for themselves, their husbands, and their children within the walls of the beis medrash. We worried that opening up this discussion might brand us as provocative, that we’d be breaching some sort of invisible but undeniable boundary.

As we aired these concerns with rabbanim and spiritual mentors — people who counsel hundreds of former kollel yungeleit now pursuing parnassah — we received reassurance, enthusiasm, and encouragement to go ahead. They told us that this could be a real service and that there’s infinite value in sharing resources and inspiration — especially the voices of so many others in the same boat.

Our other worry was the “where were you” camp. According to this perspective, the challenges inherent in this transition aren’t exactly breaking news. Ten, 15 years ago, it may have been bold for Mishpacha to publish a theme issue about the transition from kollel to work. Now, it’s just reality.

But as we reached out to people at various ages and stages, we heard again and again that Mishpacha’s role isn’t limited to breaking news; its value lies largely beyond that. We kept hearing that dialogue is important, that shared experience is enriching. That our readers have so much to say about their dilemmas, their victories, their mental shifts and moments of clarity. Most of all, that there is a real demand for an honest conversation about the multiple facets of this issue.

So, we started to move forward. We compiled a list of possible features, approaches, and sources and began hashing them out at editorial meetings. At the same time, we began exploring the logistic and budgetary concerns in talks with the management.

I don’t remember exactly when the “possible theme issue” began to become “the future theme issue” and then just “the theme issue.” I do know that it changed shape and contours many times. The print date changed a few times too. But at some point, the vague plans became a crisp, clear grid, and the months of talks yielded to pages filled with print.

It was important to us that this special issue include a mix of voices. We are honored to include the insights and advice of leading rabbanim before featuring several ambitious full-length features. But we also wanted to highlight the grit and honesty of the people in the trenches. That’s why you’ll find, alongside the full-length features, short tidbits from real readers. And that’s also why we ran a survey to gather authentic data, along with honest comments, from people living this reality. We hope that all our readers can find some line, some quote, some point that speaks to them.

We’ve always seen this magazine as a conversation, not a presentation. It’s a constantly shifting dynamic that bends and flexes and takes on new proportions as reader feedback comes in. We hope the same holds true for this pioneering effort — that this special issue is just the first round of an important conversation, and that your voices continue to shape the dialogue over the weeks to come.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 750)