Debra bit her lip and closed her eyes. “It’s like I’m a Ferrari in the carpool lane”

“Anger gets us to protect ourselves and to do really stupid things sometimes.”

— Angela Duckworth, No Stupid Questions Ep:108

“How’s Racheli doing?” Eva asked as she watched her granddaughter flounce out of the den after her music lesson.

“Exactly how she should be at this age,” Debra said smiling, putting her music sheets together. “She’s familiar with the instrument, she can hold it right, sit properly. She’s learning.”

Something in Eva twinged. Racheli wasn’t a prodigy. Why did she think she’d be, and why did she care? That wasn’t the point of all of this, right?

“How’s the organization coming along?” Debra asked.

Eva shifted her weight. Someone was finally sincerely interested, but Eva didn’t have the answer Debra wanted to hear.

“Harder than I thought, honestly,” Eva admitted. “There doesn’t seem to be much interest or appreciation in music, at least not the classical kind. I’m not really sure what I’m doing. It isn’t going to be my original vision, definitely not at first.”

Debra shook her head, her disappointment obvious. She looked at Eva intently,

“I wish the frum community could see what I can do, and really get it,” Debra answered, a wistful look on her face. “I’m a new BT, there’s so much I don’t know, so much awkwardness sometimes, and I wish they could see me as someone fully competent, and masterful, y’know.”

“I hear that,” Eva said, squirming inside. She’d never really wondered how Debra was finding her integration into the frum community.

“And then when people do ask me to play something, it’s super basic chords for whatever Jewish song they want to sing along with.” Debra bit her lip and closed her eyes. “It’s like I’m a Ferrari in the carpool lane.”