“You’re not supposed to go far on a path that was never yours to walk”

Go Where Your Strengths Are

Sara Eisemann

“M

aybe you don’t need to find more energy, maybe you just need to find a dream that makes you actually want to get up in the morning…. Maybe you need to stop trying to be good at the hundred things that do not light up your soul, and finally choose the one that does…. You’re not failing because you’re not motivated. You’re not supposed to go far on a path that was never yours to walk.” —B. West

This quote brings to mind the endless angst-filled DMCs in high school when we struggled mightily to figure out deep and important things like our purpose in this world. There was an ongoing debate about whether one should pursue that which came easy or spend a lifetime trying to master that which was hard. Somehow the hard seemed more glamorous, but it appears Chazal were more in favor of pursuing one’s natural tendencies.

Rabbi Yisroel Roll developed a self-awareness model called Conscious Therapy (discussed in his book StayWoke and Ignite Your Soul), based on the 13 Middos of HaKadosh Baruch Hu as explained by the Tomer Devorah, wherein each person studies the middos and identifies the one with which he most closely resonates. This then becomes a template and guide for that person’s work in This World. For example, the middah of “Chanun” represents one who is empathetic, sensitive, and sincere — a gentle soul. One who identifies this as their primary middah would probably feel most gratified pursuing a life of caring for the emotional needs of others.

Living in sync with one’s natural temperament is the key to high energy and vibrant living. Sadly, there are those who go through life following the steps that have been tread before them, giving no thought to their own individual path. Not only does this result in endless drudgery, it also deprives them and the world of their unique gift.

There are some women who will never enjoy baking cookies with their children, but they will spend many Sunday afternoons doing it because that’s what “good moms do.” And, sure, there will be cookies and hopefully some good times along the way. But if what this mother really loves is long walks in the woods, spending Sunday afternoons hiking with her children is what will imbue her children with passion and gratitude for Hashem’s world, as well as create incomparable memories. (Of course she may have a child or two who loves to bake and she’ll have to make time for that, too.)

“If you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life.” —M.A.

It takes some self-reflection, but taking the time to really get in touch with one’s inclinations can prevent a lifetime of drudgery. Being aware of our internal world allows us to match our pursuits with our passions and this creates a powerful drive.

Rabbi Akiva Tatz offers the mashal of employees at a job site who each find a toolbox with their name on it when they report to work. If your box contains paint, a floor rag, and a brush, you will intuit that your job is to paint. Similarly, if we take the time to know who we are and apply that to our life’s work, we will be exuding energy rather than looking for it, and doing some pretty incredible things along the way.

(*With thanks to Rebbetzin Debbie Greenblatt who introduced me to this program.)

Sara Eisemann, LMSW, ACSW, is a licensed therapist, Directed Dating coach and certified Core Mentor.

Getting through the Flu

Dr. Jennie Berkovich

T

he winter season is often a busy time for pediatricians and pediatric emergency rooms. Kids are sick more frequently and one of the many viruses that we encounter is influenza (commonly known as flu).

Distinguishing flu from a cold is crucial; flu symptoms, such as sudden onset fever, muscle aches, fatigue, nausea, vomiting, and chills, are more severe. Testing for flu can be helpful, but clinical diagnosis, without confirmatory testing, is sometimes necessary.

While most pediatric flu cases resolve without complications, red flags like difficulty breathing, severe dehydration, or neurological symptoms warrant urgent medical attention, especially in children with underlying conditions, including asthma.

Unlike many viruses, flu has an antiviral treatment, such as oseltamivir (Tamiflu), effective when initiated within the first 48 hours. While this can be a wonderful tool, its side effects can often make things worse. In otherwise healthy kids without underlying medical problems, it usually isn’t indicated and has only been shown to shorten the duration of illness by about a day and a half. Supportive care like fluids, honey, and rest are often just as effective.

Prevention is key, and the annual influenza vaccine, available for those aged six months and older, remains a vital tool. Despite yearly variability in effectiveness, the vaccine consistently prevents severe illness, hospitalization, and reduces the risk of flu-related deaths in children. Because of how the vaccine is formulated, getting sick with flu from the shot is not possible.

Beyond vaccination, fundamental prevention strategies include meticulous handwashing, avoiding contact with others when sick, eating a well-balanced diet, and remaining active to keep the immune system strong and ready for the winter virus battle.

Dr. Jennie Berkovich is a board-certified pediatrician in Chicago and serves as the Director of Education for the Jewish Orthodox Women's Medical Association (JOWMA)

Great Solution, Wrong Issue

Shoshana Schwartz

Sometimes we discover a great solution — but for the wrong problem.

If your emptiness stems from a lack of spirituality, marketing courses won’t imbue you with meaning. If you yearn for connection and belonging, caffeine or scrubbing countertops won’t fill that hole. If you’re short on sleep, inspirational books won’t provide energy.

When we’re uncomfortable in any way, we naturally seek a solution because, well, we’re uncomfortable. But when a certain uncomfortable feeling keeps recurring, or a cluster of minor symptoms emerge, we can try to see them as a helpful diagnostic tool, a cause for some gentle self-exploration, and not just an annoyance.

When a red light on your dashboard draws your attention, instead of automatically pulling into the station to fill your tank, you might want to consider if it’s time to fill your tires.

Shoshana Schwartz specializes in compulsive eating, codependency, and addictive behaviors.

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 875)