S

urfing the Surface

As I sit here writing at my desk in Chai Lifeline’s Camp Simcha Special this question takes on deeper import. The perspective of one’s takfid becomes weighted when viewing the vast differences between Hashem’s beloved children.

Sometimes differences or handicaps may not be blatantly apparent at first glance. We tend to focus on external looks and features to make comparisons. Yet the disparities may lurk beneath the surface. Here inCampSimcha the surface distinctions are less subtle. Yet those appearances often mask deep spirituality.

Since we live in a physical world our quest for tafkid is often distorted by our desire to maximize our physical potential. When we banter about “living it up” — is that really life? And what an abysmal waste such a life would be when we reach the eternal world and physicality is relegated to nihility.

The Gemara in Bava Basra (73b) discusses the allegorical adventures of Rava bar Chana and his compatriots: “Once we were traveling on a boat and we saw a fish that had sand on its back and grass growing on it. We thought it to be dry land and we baked and cooked on its back. When the back of the fish got hot the fish turned over! Had our boat not been close by we would have drowned.”

One must be on the lookout for these false islands of security that are only surface asylums. A life built on a quest for looks brains and money will be overturned as it lacks foundation. If a person doesn’t have a boat of Torah and mitzvos to save him he’ll drown in the depths of futility.

 

Know Thyself

So now we know what not to pursue in life to beware of superficiality. But how do we figure out what we are meant to be pursuing?

Rav Shlomo Wolbe in Alei Shur (Chelek 2 Pg. 647) discusses the concept of “emes l’atzmiu — being truthful to one’s self.” Rav Eliyahu Dessler (Michtav MeEliyahu 1) reiterates this idea by emphasizing that one needs to be constantly evaluating his pursuits in life. If a person lives life superficially without ever taking the time to develop self-knowledge he’ll never know the capacity of his abilities.

Rav Wolbe says of such a person “Eino adam amiti — he’s not a true person.” Without self-knowledge one will find his island capsized eventually and wonder why he thought it was dry land! As always it’s essential to access a rebbi teacher or mentor who knows you well to help you actualize self-knowledge.

As we approach Yom Hadin there’s no better time to look at ourselves in the mirror and ask: “Who am I? What are my strong points? My weaknesses? Do I maximize my abilities? Am I trapped by my faults? How do these answers define my goals in life?”

 

The Path of the Positive

Let’s focus on abilities first. We can actualize greatness when we realize the greatness of our potential.

In a rousing shmuess (Kovetz Maamarim p.56) Rav Elchonon Wasserman ponders a famous Rambam (Hilchos Teshuvah 5:2): “Every person is worthy of being a tzaddik like Moshe Rabbeinu.”

However this is confusing since the Rambam himself lists as one of the Thirteen Principles of Faith the belief that no one can be a prophet like Moshe! Shouldn’t that mean that one cannot reach the level of Moshe in righteousness as well? Obviously though there are aspects of Moshe’s capabilities a regular person can access.

In Sefer Yehoshua (1:1) Moshe Rabbeinu is described as the ultimate servant (eved) of Hashem. Radak there defines eved as one who has subjugated all his capabilities to his master. The halachah teaches us that an eved is completely owned by his master; his hand is merely an extension of his master’s.

Moshe Rabbeinu personified this definition. He perfected the use of all of his faculties for the exclusive service of Hashem. While it’s true that a person can try but still not reach Moshe’s personal level of tzidkus he can reach his own perfection of self when he serves Hashem with all his kochos.

 

The Need for Negative

When one contemplates such self-perfection a complaint arises that potential is often frustrated by reality: If I could be such a good teacher then why haven’t I gotten a good job?

If I’m a deep intellectual person then how do I relate to my young toddlers?

Why am I so good at singing dancing and sports if I don’t know how to express these talents as a frum woman?

Within each personal plan lie personal challenges as well. Yet we must realize that these obstacles or struggles are also uniquely tailored for our personal goal. The pasuk in Iyov (5:7) says: “Man was born to toil.” Our life’s purpose is defined by hard work. When faced with difficulties we must utilize self-knowledge there as well.

In the sixth chapter of Avos Rabi Yehoshua lists 48 ways to acquire wisdom. Right in the middle of this list are three items that are uniquely connected. Number 24 on the list: One who accepts yissurim. Number 25: One who knows his makom — his place in life. And number 26: One who is happy with his lot.

Knowing one’s place in life is not a measurement of latitude and longitude. It’s the knowledge and acceptance of one’s limitations plus abilities — and embracing that full potential.

Rav Wolbe quotes a midrash on Bereishis that’s astounding. The Midrash asks: “From where did Avraham Avinu learn Torah?” The Midrash offers three answers the last of which is from Rabi Levi: “Me’atzmo lamad! He learned from himself!”

Avraham’s life experience — including each of his ten tests — was his Torah! It revealed to him Hashem’s presence in his life and taught Hashem’s expectations of him.

To actualize number 25 of Rabi Yehoshua’s list — knowing one’s place in life — one must also possess the two middos of Rabi Yehoshua’s list on either side of this knowledge. He must accept his yissurim in life and still be happy with his lot.

Such a person may approach Rosh Hashanah with the tefillah that his lot will change but at the same time he knows that he’ll serve Hashem with whatever He decides is best.

In actualizing all three of these ideas he’s fulfilling his potential.

 

Uniquely Mine

When focusing on strengths and weaknesses we must keep in mind that the temptation to compare is detrimental to our goal. Rav Wolbe instructs us that each person must be like Choni Hame’agel — he must envision a circle around himself. Standing confidently in the center of that circle he can assess which direction to take in life. But anything outside that circle is superfluous. The many gedolei haTorah institutions and chesed organizations in our communities are all examples of people who utilized their personal life skills to enable the circumference of their circle to grow.

The Chofetz Chaim explains this concept when describing Moshe Rabbeinu’s momentous encounter at the burning bush. Moshe is instructed by Hashem to remove his shoes “because the makom upon which you are standing is hallowed ground” (Devarim 4:26). The place where we stand in life is hallowed ground. Our talents and tribulations all define our tafkid to serve Hashem.

The following conversation between Rav Naftali Amsterdam and his rebbi sums up the message to us all. Rav Naftali approached the saintly Rav Yisrael Salanter with the following claim: “Rebbi if I had the head of the Yesod V’shoresh Ha’avodah the heart of the Shaagas Aryeh and the middos of Rebbi — then I would be a true eved Hashem.

“Naftali Naftali” rejoined Rav Yisrael “It’s with your head your heart and your middos that you can become the greatest servant of Hashem.”

 

Rebbetzin Aviva Feiner is the rebbetzin of Congregation Kneseth Israel (The White Shul) and menaheles of Machon Basya Rachel Seminary both in Far RockawayNew York.

 

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