Like many other parents on the force, I began my parenting career at the most basic entry level

I’m not currently renovating my house but I’m seriously considering construction for one important addition.

No, it’s not a spare bedroom for guests, though that sounds lovely. And no, it’s not an office in which I could peacefully write articles.

I want to build a moat around my bedroom. Now the cool thing about having a moat surrounding your room is that it’s totally crossable via a drawbridge. But if, let’s say, I plan to take a nap on Shabbos afternoon and, let’s say, I’d rather not have my children banging down my door to ask for a drink when they are completely capable of getting a drink themselves, then UP goes the drawbridge and I’m left alone for the duration of my brief nap.

Unfortunately, the less-than-cool thing about a moat is that it costs approximately $1.5 million to build. (I did my research.)

However, I am not deterred. I have a plan. All I need to do is dust off my old résumé, spruce it up a bit, and I’m sure  I will soon be hired for a part-time, highly lucrative position that can fund this dream of mine.

I do need to update my résumé to reflect the new skills I’ve developed while working on the front lines in the parenting field.

Like many other parents on the force, I began my parenting career at the most basic entry level. I was pretty surprised that there was no prior training before the job began. It was clear  the Boss seemed to have a lot more confidence in my parenting abilities than I did, and to be honest, I was a bit overwhelmed by the responsibilities suddenly placed on my shoulders, without being given any type of user manual or instructions.

At the very least, a beginner’s orientation would have been appreciated since I could not possibly have been less oriented than when I first started.