"I am — wait for it — going to turn off notifications on the Sisters chat group”

I’ve left the house without a sheitel. The thought occurs to me as I’m sitting in a rental car at a gas station at five in the morning, while Mike buys us what he has coined “reinforcements.” I lean my head against the glass, yawn loudly, and for the thousandth time ask myself if we are really doing this.

I check my phone. Last night’s terrifying message from Lara — DO you have everything under control? — is still there. So that wasn’t a nightmare, that was my boss doubting me.

I swipe to the sisters’ chat, but there are so many new messages, I’m overwhelmed. And for a family of eight, they are all unnervingly centered around me.

Anyone hear that the Leibers are on their way to Delaware to steal things from trucks or something like that.

Bad wedding present haul? They need more salt shakers?

LOL!

Um, not lol. Can everyone be quiet? I pull down the mirror and do a quick check. Paint-splatter design tichel, check. Under-eye bags, check.