DOUBLE LIFE “They moved to Eretz Yisrael and when she had a baby mine was just eight months old. My husband and I flew out to help her with our own baby for just a few days. Then we had to return home quickly because another son aged 25 was ready to get engaged and waiting for us” (Photos: Shutterstock)

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t was the hardest thing in my life yet the greatest gift” says Adina of the birth of her youngest. “We had eight kids and two grandchildren… and then another child after eight years’ break.” Adina had difficult pregnancies each more complicated and draining than the one before so her last one was especially hard on her husband and family.

“I was 46 when I got pregnant. I was totally out of commission spending my days on the couch. But my engaged daughter needed me. She suffered to a degree — I wasn’t able to shop with her at all. I can remember her coming home crying with an outfit that just didn’t fit right but the saleslady had encouraged her that it was perfect. I felt terrible but what could I do?

“Later I spoke to a wise rebbetzin about it and she reassured me it would be fine. She even told me it would be good for my daughter to realize that people have limits and you have to make peace with them. The irony is that those two daughters are now so close. My youngest goes over to help this sister all the time. So in the end she who had the roughest time benefited the most.”

New Start at an Older Age

Many mothers pray for one more chance one last child to love before passing on to the next stage. Chevi from Beit Shemesh says she longed and prayed for another child yet according to the doctors it was unlikely. “I did some alternative stuff and then my husband and I decided to consider adopting a special child. We started the adoption process… and then found that I was expecting. It was a gift — and a surprise.” Their youngest was born ten years after their previous child.

Rifky remembers attending a wedding just as the news of her pregnancy became public. “People were shocked” recalls Rifky who already had three grandchildren at that point and had gone back to college for her master’s planning a second career. “The next day I got phone calls to discuss the news. Even my friends got phone calls! No one knew that I was always hoping and praying to be blessed with more children. A lot of people — especially those older than me — said ‘Wow Rifky you’re so lucky.’ ”

Despite the blessing when parents are older the normal physical exertion of carrying — and caring for — a baby is more taxing. Tzirel who gave birth to her youngest when the former “baby” of the family was 12 struggled during pregnancy: “My body was probably in shock. From the sixth month and on I could barely move.” The post-birth stage wasn’t much easier. When Tzirel would sit down on the floor to play with her little boy “every bone in my body got a shock. I just wasn’t in that rhythm ” she remembers.