Reuven gave a little chuckle, but said nothing.

“I should have guessed,” said Tamar. “Well, Yalli herself doesn’t come from money — remember her mother’s nearly parve meatloaf? Now she probably has meatloaf made from veal or lamb or prime rib. But still, do you know what Yalli told the shadchan? She said, ‘Money comes and money goes; the most important thing is middos; redt me any boy you think would be a wonderful husband to my daughter whatever his parents’ financial situation.’ ”

Reuven looked approving as he poured them both drinks.

“Ironic, really,” said Tamar, picking up Goldie’s resume and scanning it again. “When Yalli was in shidduchim she was quite the gold digger. But she did have nearly twenty years to mature. And it seems like she found the perfect therapist the first time around. No sharing the pages with a therapist who turns out to have the same issues as you, like what happened to me.”

“I’m sure she had her own plot twists to deal with,” said Reuven reasonably. “It’s not easy to keep readers engaged.”

“Yeah, yeah, I can’t forget it,” Tamar said with a sigh. “Did I tell you that Eva thinks I have some level of trauma from 70 weeks of cliffhangers? But at least we’re both out of the spotlight now, so we can just have normal crises in a normal time frame. On that happy note, should I give the shadchan a yes? I’ve heard the nicest things about Goldie herself.”

“Sounds good to me,” said Reuven. “If Nossi is game, go for it!”

***

Across town, Libby Kanner and her husband Shimmy were also sitting at their kitchen table poring over resumes. “Do you really think Avi’s ready?” Libby asked for the millionth time. “I mean, I know he’s come such a long way, but he’s still…”

“Not perfect?” asked Shimmy with a laugh. “It takes a lifetime to reach perfection, Libs.” Libby laughed, then became serious again. “Perfection would be nice, but that’s not what I’m waiting for. I just worry when I realize that he’s still impulsive and impetuous at times. I mean look at how he and his friends just went off on that crazy trip during bein hazmanim.”

“Most bochurim do crazy things during bein hazmanim,” said Shimmy calmingly.

“They don’t travel to New Zealand using dirt-cheap tickets they got through some weird deal, and then nearly go down the Huka Falls while on a jet-boating trip,” retorted Libby. She sighed. “I don’t know anyone else who would do something that nuts….Actually, I do.” A louder sigh. “His father would do the exact same thing if he had the energy.”

Libby put her head in her hands. “Oh, Shimmy,” she bleated, “I just don’t want Avi to have the kind of difficult marriage that Bin and I had. Just the thought of it leaves me terrified. It’s like I’m hair sprayed in place, unable to move. Is he doomed just because he has ADHD?”

“He most definitely is not,” said Shimmy. His voice was quiet, but strong as steel. “There are plenty of people with ADHD who live happy, productive lives, and they have wonderful marriages, too. You’re looking at one right now.”

Libby’s head jerked up at this statement. “Of course, Shimmy, you’re so right. How can I forget that? But… did you also… um, did you…”

“What do you want to know Libby? You can just spit it out,” Shimmy said wryly.

“Did people also redt you these ridiculous suggestions? I realize your average girl isn’t thrilled at the idea of four parents-in-law, but just because Avi happens to have two sets of parents, and is a little, well, out of the box, doesn’t mean he should be dealing with a history of mental illness.”

“What?! Who was he redt to?”

Libby shuffled through the few resumes she had and extracted one. “Here it is, Zelda Eisenman. She must have been named after her great-grandmother; I wonder when she died. Remember the Eisenmans from Sisters Under Siege? Oh, come on, Shimmy, no need to pretend you don’t read the Family First serials; all the guys do, there’s no shame in it. Anyway, so Yechiel and Chava finally did get married in the epilogue, thank goodness for that. And this Zelda is their granddaughter. One of their sons moved to the States right after he got married, and she’s his oldest, so she grew up here.”

“And what have you heard about her?”

“I haven’t even made any calls yet, I’m so torn,” said Libby. She got up and started pacing the room. “Remember how nuts Tirtza was? She for sure had some undiagnosed mental illness. And these things can run in families. And in case that’s not enough, there’s Chatzkel on the father’s side.”

“Oh right, he was the brother who was involved with Lechi. He was actually my favorite character.”

“Shimmy!” Libby gasped. “Do you really mean to say that you were rooting for the villain?! You admired him?!”

Shimmy chuckled. “Relax Libby, I’m not about to blow up any Arab stashes of ammunition. I’d have no idea where to find them. But I liked Chatzkel’s spirit.”

“But he wasn’t even frum. He was off the derech!”

“True, he was a very conflicted fellow. Yet we have no idea what he’s like now. I’ve always wondered what happened to him after the epilogue. Maybe losing his arm changed him — how could it not? If Avi goes out with this Zelda, we can finally find out!”

“Do you mean to suggest,” Libby hissed, “that you want my son to date a girl who may be terrible for him simply so you can find out whether the bad guy in a serial story ever became good?”

“Don’t knock serials, Lib,” Shimmy said with an easy grin, “we owe them our existence. But no, I wasn’t suggesting anything of the sort. What I do think is that we need to be more open-minded. So the girl’s great-aunt was mentally ill. So what? I may not hear the secrets that emerge on the sheitelmacher’s chair, but when you deal with people’s pipes, you find out a lot. Let me tell you — we all got something. Give the girl a chance.”

Libby scanned the resume again, a pucker of worry forming between her eyebrows. She heaved another sigh. “Okay, I will. I’ll call the shadchan tomorrow.”

***

The lobby had plush carpet, chic leather armchairs, and plenty of pillars one could duck behind in case a chavrusa walked in — the perfect spot for a first date. Avi took it all in with a quick glance, then got distracted by the chandelier handing in the center of the room. How did it have that suspended-in-air look? Were there invisible wires attaching it to the ceiling? If he’d go up to the balcony two flights up, maybe he could —

He shook himself. He could not get in trouble, not tonight, not here. He was finally on a date, and he better not blow it. He’d even taken an extra dose of Ritalin so he could ace this one. He turned to the shy girl at his side. “So,” he boomed, “why don’t we sit over there? We can see practically the whole lobby from that seat — will keep us in the action.”

Zelda’s eyebrows shot up but Avi didn’t even notice. He plopped into one of the chairs; Zelda primly took a seat opposite him. The silence hung heavy in the air for several long moments while Zelda looked at Avi and Avi studied the chandelier. Finally Avi gave his head a little shake, and turned to Zelda. “So, what are your hobbies?” he asked.

“Well, I love baking. I make and decorate miniatures. And I happen to be fascinated by genealogy.”

“I guess that’s what happens when you’re the outcome of a historical novel, eh?” said Avi. “Should I be grateful that I ended up with contemporary problems?”

Zelda looked startled. “Well, it sounded like you had quite an experience,” she finally managed.

“Don’t tell me — as soon as the shidduch was redt, you read all the back issues to find out exactly what I was like at age six?”

Zelda flushed.

“Hey, no complaints,” Avi hurried to reassure her, “I did the exact same thing. So tell me, whatever did happen to your Great-Uncle Chatzkel? And does he also have ADHD?”

***

Just one pillar separated Avi and Zelda from Nossi and Goldie. Much as Goldie tried to avoid it, before she knew it, she was also being dragged into a serial conversation.

“Do your friends also read your parents’ story?” Nossi was saying. “How embarrassing is that?”

“Awful,” Goldie said. “It’s like I have no privacy at all. At least the serial ended before I could do much myself.”

“Lucky you,” said Nossi. “The girls I date all think I’ll have a hard time sharing. They have zero idea what it was like having an annoying nephew destroying all your best toys.”

Goldie murmured sympathetically. And then fell silent. After his little outburst, Nossi just stared at his shoes for the longest time. Meanwhile, snatches of Avi’s rather one-sided conversation with Zelda kept floating by. Goldie found herself trying not to laugh out loud from some of the anecdotes he shared. That guy was funny, and so refreshingly honest.

“How do you like yeshivah?” she asked politely, just as Nossi started chuckling. Apparently, she wasn’t the only one eavesdropping.

“Hysterical, isn’t he?” Nossi said, abandoning all pretense of being immersed in the conversation they were meant to be having. “He’s in my shiur in BMG. Avi Hirsch. Y’know, from Split Ends.”

So that was why he seemed so familiar! A plan was forming in Goldie’s head.

***

 “Let me get this straight,” Yalli’s mouth was a thin line, never a good sign. “You don’t want to continue dating the boy we carefully researched and heard great things about, but you do want to meet the random bochur who was on a date in the same lobby as you?!”

“I know it sounds crazy, Ma,” Goldie shifted on the brocade couch, and wished her twin was around to help her. “Nossi is a nice guy, but way too quiet for me. I was so bored. But this Avi, I didn’t mean to listen to his conversation, honest, I didn’t, but he has this loud voice, and tells these long stories, and it’s impossible not to hear him. Even Nossi was cracking up.”

“The two of you spent your date eavesdropping?!”

“No, of course not. Once we both laughed at the same story and realized what was happening, we moved to chairs on the other side of the lobby. But it made me realize that Avi may be the right guy for me.”

“Goldie, he was on a date. What makes you think he’s even available?”

Goldie laughed. “Oh he’s available all right. It was pretty clear his date did not appreciate his humor. But it wasn’t just his humor I liked though. I felt this connection with him, like we came from the same source.”

Yalli knotted her fingers together. “I can try to look into him, Goldie, and see what he’s been doing for the past fifteen years. But I’m sure you realize that his background is a bit… complicated.”

“I do,” said Goldie soberly. Then she brightened. “But I just know things will work out. You see Mommy, it’s all in the Mishpacha.”

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 500)