“Oh, come on, you guys are just being nasty,” Lieber said, and just like that, the whole conversation went from being light to being tense, and everyone got uncomfortable

C

haim Harari’s brother had made money doing fix n’ flips in East Orange, so he fancied himself a real estate mogul.

“It’s not so shver — the yeshivah owns land both ways, all the way to the road, and then behind, down the creek. We can build like this…” He drew an imaginary map with his fingers. “I would say twelve, thirteen houses, and there you go. No more financial problems.”

Sensing a current of interest, he jumped off the bed and started pacing back and forth. “Bungalow colonies in the Catskills are all the same, the oilem is bored of it, Woodbourne and Fallsburg and 52. We can make Modena so hot.”

“No way.” Lorb didn’t agree. “No one is driving from the city or Lakewood all the way to Modena. You’re dreaming.”

Harari’s eyes flashed. “Hunter! Tannersville! They’re even farther, so ha!”

“Pssshhh, listen to the shakla v’tarya.” Lieber had one sock on and one sock off, so he was hopping around the room. “He comes with ra’ayos, all ready for shiur klali. Harari, you’re saying good. Let’s open a bungalow colony. The yeshivah can use a pool.”

“The rosh yeshivah will never let, he’s not opening up the campus to families,” Brandman said. “Not a chance.”

Harari was ready for this. “It’s not a full-year thing, it’s sach hakol two months a year, and one of them is bein hazmanim, it’s not a big deal. These days, people want homes in the mountains and they need a shul. We have it all — a sefer Torah, a minyan if they want to do a Shabbos during the winter… we’re covered. It’s a no-brainer.”

“Okay, Chaim, so start building. Should we go to Home Depot and buy two-by-fours? Maybe pre-fab houses?” Lorb was trying to take back the advantage.

“First of all,” Harari said, “you don’t pronounce the ‘T.’ Home Dee-poe, not Home Depot. Second of all, we’ll get a contractor. I just have the concept, now I give it over to Rabbi Portman and let him make it happen. That’s why he gets the big bucks. I just learn here.”

As if to prove his point, he grabbed his pen and paper and left the room, off to petition Rabbi Portman.

It was quiet for a moment after he left. Then Lieber said, “Listen, you can make fun of him if you want, but l’maiseh, he cares about this yeshivah. We need money, and he’s going to find a way to make it happen.”

“Maskim, it’s nice, but it’s completely not l’maiseh,” Lorb said. “The idea has no shaichus. Here, I have an idea too.” He jumped up, imitating Harari. “Let’s divert traffic from the Thruway through the campus and put up a toll-booth, does that work?”

Brandman got into it. “How about this? We make a little amusement park, we’ll put billboards on the highway and get people to come, you know those types who pull over for every tourist attraction? I mean, my parents once took us to see an insect farm, it was basically like my backyard. So we can do it too.”

“Yeah.” Sutton was laughing. “This room can be a haunted house, and we can use Terrence’s golf cart like a go-kart and do some games on the basketball court, maybe that zach where you have to knock over a barrel or something… Go call back Harari and tell him we got the payroll covered.”

“Oh, come on, you guys are just being nasty,” Lieber said, and just like that, the whole conversation went from being light to being tense, and everyone got uncomfortable.