Any dates you’re planning while in the Catskills (or in many other vacation areas) should be scheduled for daytime or early

evening hours only

Prepared for print by Faigy Peritzman

I’m a single girl working this summer in the Catskills, and I’m concerned about shidduchim. I don’t want to turn away all dating possibilities for two months, but people have told me it’s yichud to be driving with a bochur on the mountain roads.

This is a real concern, especially during nighttime hours. Yichud situations are not limited to closed rooms or buildings; they also include being together in open areas that are secluded or isolated, where the couple’s privacy is unlikely to be interrupted. Any dates you’re planning while in the Catskills (or in many other vacation areas) should be scheduled for daytime or early evening hours only, using roads that have steady traffic, and in settings that are neither secluded nor isolated. (Boating, for instance, would only be permitted if there are other boaters in the vicinity.)

I live in an exclusively Jewish neighborhood. The other day I parked in a tight spot and lightly scuffed the fender of the car behind me. I went to check it out, but it was an old car full of scratches and dents. I couldn’t even tell if I’d caused damage or not. What should I have done?

Unless you are reasonably sure that you caused some damage that will affect the value of the car, then you’re not required to do anything. In the case you described, the possible additional scuff or scratch will not negatively affect the value of the car, and therefore you’re not considered to have damaged another person’s property. If, however, you aren’t clear about how much damage you may have done, then you should leave a note with your contact information.

The left-turn lane into my daughter’s school is always backed up in the morning. As I’m inching slowly closer to make my turn, I get very frustrated by people who think they don’t have to wait in line. They bypass the turning lane until they’ve come to the front of the line, and then cut off all those behind them to make the left turn. Is such behavior halachically permitted?

While cutting in line is technically not considered “theft,” the poskim nevertheless agree that it is halachically forbidden. Chazon Ish reportedly ruled that it is hasagas gevul (infringement), while Rav Elyashiv is quoted as ruling that it is avak gezel (the appearance of theft).

Recently, there has been a spate of carjackings in our neighborhood, some even at gunpoint. I feel I should say Tefillas Haderech every time I pull out of my driveway. What are the parameters for this?

Halachically, one does not recite Tefillas Haderech unless he is traveling out of town. If you feel that it is necessary even when traveling in town, you may say the tefillah while omitting Hashem’s Name at the end (Baruch Atah, shomei’a tefillah).

I live on a small side street where everyone has their own driveway. A neighbor of ours wants to open a store in her basement. We’re all concerned that this will cause tremendous traffic and parking inconvenience. Do our misgivings have a halachic basis?

You certainly have a halachic basis to object, since according to both halachah and secular law, a residential street is designed as a place to live and not as a place of doing business, which is an activity that disturbs the peacefulness and decorum of the neighborhood. Approach the neighbor with these concerns, and if necessary, review the situation with a local rav as well.

I skidded into the car in front of me during a rainstorm. While I’m perfectly willing to pay the owner for the damage to his fender, he’s insisting on going directly to the manufacturer for the repair, which will cost me more money. I think the local garage can fix his car just as well.

Unless there is proof that the local garage’s work is inferior to the work of the manufacturer, then he may not force you to spend extra money by going to the more expensive option.

I live out of town, with little in the way of public transportation or car services. I therefore always try to offer people rides when I’m leaving the supermarket or other such places. Is it appropriate for me to offer a frum man a ride if I’m alone in the car?

From a halachic perspective, there’s nothing wrong with offering to do this chesed, since driving together in town, or in any other public area, isn’t a yichud concern. The rider should sit in the back seat. Practically, however, it would depend on where you live, since in some sheltered communities, this would be considered inappropriate.   

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 796)