“I did, a little, but I was convinced it was worth it to save this girl’s soul.” Chava shook her head. “The parents, of course, were furious. They yelled at me, they yelled even more at Rabbi Schwartz — he was the menahel before Rabbi Freund. But the worst was when Rabbi Schwartz called me into his office.”

Tammy shuddered. “I can imagine.” She paused. “Actually, I don’t need to.” She gave a self-conscious laugh, but her face was a lot brighter now.

“So,” Tammy said slowly, “were you — um — placed under supervision or something after that?”

Chava hesitated. “No.” Because I hadn’t put a girl’s life in danger. I hadn’t been dealing with an issue that was clearly beyond my professional purview.

Tammy’s shoulders slumped again. “I guess what I did was really bad, then.” She took a sip of her coffee and then looked up at Chava. “You said I can ask you any question. So tell me, is Rabbi Freund planning on firing me?”

“Of course not!” Chava said quickly. “You’re fabulous with the girls!”

Tammy’s face cleared. “Oh, good. I was worried. I mean, he was so upset the other day. And, well…” She hesitated, and then said confidingly, “I really love this job. Leaving it would be devastating.” She looked anxiously at Chava, who flashed her a reassuring smile.

“I understand the feeling,” she said, in all sincerity.

What Chava didn’t add is what Rabbi Freund had told her, after asking her to take on this supervisory role. He’d said, “If she can’t work out her boundary issues over the next few months, I’m afraid I’m going to have to look for a different eim bayit for next year.”

Tammy came home from her lunch meeting in a lighter mood.

“How’d it go?” Yehuda asked.

“Much better than I expected,” she said.

She sat down on the couch and kicked her shoes off. “It’s funny, I totally had the wrong impression of Mrs. Edelman. I thought she was this uptight, old-fashioned schoolmarm type, who’d go on about rules and expectations, blah blah blah. But she was actually sweet and personable. Relatable.”

Yehuda was on the floor, rolling a ball back and forth with Shimmy. “I assume you don’t make it as a seminary teacher for as long as she has if you aren’t personable and relatable,” he said.

“Okay, but I mean — she’s old!” Yehuda raised an eyebrow and Tammy laughed.

A knock made them both turn. “Expecting someone?” Yehuda asked.

Tammy shook her head as she got up to open it.

It was Shani.

“Hi, Mrs. Hurwitz. Okay if I come in?”

Tammy shot a quick, helpless look at Yehuda. He shrugged and nodded. Still, Tammy hesitated. Officially, she wasn’t supposed to meet with Shani outside of school without clearing it first with Mrs. Edelman. That had been one of the ground rules they’d discussed today. As humiliating as Tammy had found the rule, she didn’t want to violate it on the very first day.

But what was she supposed to say to Shani, standing in her doorway?

Shani was twisting her fingers, unnerved by Tammy’s hesitation. “Um, is this a bad time? I should’ve called first, I guess, but I didn’t have time. I convinced my mom that I could pack up my stuff on my own, but she’s coming to pick me up from Shvilei in a half hour. I ran over here to— to say goodbye.”

She bit her lip, and Tammy’s eyes widened. Goodbye?

“Please, come in. I’m so glad you came over. I didn’t realize you were leaving so soon!”

“I guess word didn’t get around yet,” Shani said, as she walked in and settled herself on the couch. “My mom had a meeting with Rabbi Freund and Mrs. Edelman the other day, and they all decided it was best for me to go home now.”

Well, Tammy, if you’d wondered just how in the doghouse you are at Shvilei, now you know. Not only do the major players have zero desire to know your opinion, they don’t even care to keep you in the loop.

But she quickly swallowed her hurt. This wasn’t about her; it was about Shani. She looked more closely at her. She hadn’t seen Shani since she’d left the hospital; Mrs. Mandel had kept a tight rein on her.

“You look good,” she said. Shani’s cheeks had filled out somewhat from the gauntness of the past few weeks.

Shani scowled. “My mom’s been literally forcing me to eat. She won’t let me leave the hotel room until I eat a certain amount.”

“Mmm.” Tammy wasn’t sure what to say. On the one hand, she couldn’t blame Shani’s mother for the desperate attempt to force-feed. But Tammy doubted that keeping Shani prisoner was a viable long-term solution to her eating disorder.

“How’s therapy been going?” she asked.

“I stopped. My mother said she’ll find me a better-qualified therapist when we get back to the US.”

As usual, Mrs. Mandel succeeded in raising her hackles, even second-hand. “The therapist Rabbi Freund found is very qualified!”

Shani shrugged. “Maybe. Probably. You know how my mom is. Anyway, it didn’t really make sense to start with someone right before I go home.”

Go home. Tammy felt helplessness wash over her as she looked at the forlorn girl sitting next to her on the couch. She thought of all the long, heart-to-heart discussions they’d had over the past few months, how Shani had slowly opened up and revealed the deep pain over her parents’ divorce, and how much she suffered from her over-controlling mother. And now she was going to be sent back into the lion’s den, defenseless and alone?

For an insane moment, she was tempted to do what Mrs. Edelman had done; to advise Shani to defy her mother, to run away, hide, stay here where she’d be safe and have a chance of healing.

But she didn’t need to consult with a supervisor to know that she couldn’t do that. Instead, she reached out and enveloped Shani in a hug.

“Listen,” she said, swallowing the lump in her throat. “You’re an amazing girl with a huge amount of strength. You’re gonna do great, okay? No matter where you are, you can rise above this eating disorder.”

“I don’t know if I can,” Shani whispered.

Tammy squeezed her hand. “I know you can. And I’m looking forward to dancing at your chasunah one day soon.”

Shani giggled. “You’ll fly in from Eretz Yisrael?”

“I’ll fly in from Mars if I have to.”

Shani pulled a tissue from her pocketbook and wiped her eyes. “Can I call you? I’m going to need someone to talk to badly.”

Tammy thought briefly of Rabbi Freund, of Yehuda, of boundaries and needing to check in with her supervisor. But what was all that compared to the desperate and helpless girl in front of her?

“You can call me every day if you want.”

to be continued…

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 753)