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ear Fellow Mothers,

Who’s on your mishloach manos list this year?

Friends, teachers, rabbanim, coworkers. We package ourselves up in cellophane and ribbon and send this little representation to people who fit our status. Then we look at our children, run down the class lists, and prod them to choose the “right” friends to whom to send gifts. We come up with the perfect package for them — not just a theme, a theme with a twist, with color, with originality. And through that package we teach our kids to say without a word, See? I’m one of the cool kids! It’s worth being my friend.

There is the other side of the fence, though. The parents who look at their kids’ school lists and find the little girl who won’t be getting armfuls of packages. They point to the name and they say, “Let’s give to her.” These parents look beyond their instinctive desires and, with sensitivity and consideration, make girls like my own daughter happy.

My daughter is not cool. She is liked, she is sweet, she is awkward. She is learning disabled and manages, with a little extra help, in the local Bais Yaakov.

Each day she is thrilled to see her classmates and interact with them. To their credit, they are nice to her. But the friendship is superficial, and it remains in the confines of the classroom. There are no phone calls, sleepovers, shared giggles between her and her peers. She goes happily to school, and then comes home. And stays home...

Every year before Purim, I choose my daughter’s mishloach manos list. Together, we look at the class list, and go through each name. With a heavy heart, I help her pick out her “friends,” knowing that as she innocently knocks on their doors on Purim, she will not be greeted with excitement or enthusiasm.

But you, those mothers of sensitivity and care, must know how she spends Purim looking out the window, waiting to see who will come down the street. She too wants to compare her loot with her siblings, ogling over the number of chocolate bars she’s received. You come with a smile, all the way to our house, just for her! And she is so excited to welcome you in, and my heart is filled with a special brand of Purim joy.

Thank you, you good, thoughtful people out there. Maybe this Purim we can all remember to reach out to those often forgotten, to give a package of joy to someone who could use a gesture of friendship.

Happy Purim!

Another Mom

(Originally featured in Family First Issue 3)