At the core of emotional eating is the interaction between two crucial parts of our brain: the amygdala and the cortex

Brain Drain

Shira Savit
“MYhead knows I don’t want to overeat, but my body just doesn’t listen! It feels like there’s a disconnect between what I think and what I do.”

Many women who struggle with emotional eating experience a dissonance between what we intellectually know and what our bodies seem to crave. We know which foods truly nourish us, and in which quantities, yet we often find ourselves reaching for other, less healthy options, sometimes in excessive amounts. This disconnect can leave us feeling frustrated, confused, and guilty, as if our minds and bodies are in a constant battle.

While this struggle is real, it doesn’t reflect a lack of self-control or discipline — it’s actually deeply rooted in the biology of our brains. By learning how different parts of our brain interact, we can start to bridge the gap between what our minds want and how our bodies respond.

At the core of emotional eating is the interaction between two crucial parts of our brain: the amygdala and the cortex. The amygdala acts as the brain’s alarm system, responsible for triggering our fight-or-flight response when we perceive a threat, like being chased by a wild animal. However, the amygdala doesn’t distinguish between a real, physical threat and a perceived one.

When we’re stressed, anxious, or feel unsafe, the amygdala sounds the “alarm bells,” often within a split second. This activation drives us toward behaviors that offer immediate comfort or relief — typically food, especially high-calorie, carbohydrate-dense snacks for quick energy.

On the other hand, the cortex — specifically the prefrontal cortex — plays a critical role in our ability to make rational decisions, exercise self-control, and regulate our behavior. It’s the part of our brain that helps us evaluate our actions and consider the long-term consequences of our choices. The cortex is responsible for the voice of reason that tells you, “You’re not really hungry,” or, “You don’t need that extra serving.” However, when the amygdala is highly activated by stress or a sense of threat, it can cause the cortex to go “offline,” making it difficult to access these rational thoughts.

Think about the times you’ve been told that a certain food is “bad.” The moment you encounter that food, your brain senses danger, triggering the amygdala to put your body into survival mode. The same reaction can occur when you see or are near a family member who is triggering for you — your amygdala senses a lack of safety and sounds the alarm bells.

You may feel out of control because the cortex, which knows you’re not truly hungry, is sidelined by the amygdala’s urgent need for relief.

To restore regulation, the key is to calm the amygdala and engage the cortex. Techniques like deep breathing, grounding exercises, and other somatic interventions can send safety signals to soothe the amygdala. By bringing awareness to the present moment, you can activate the cortex, allowing your rational mind to regain control over your decisions.

Yes, it may seem easier said than done. However, even just understanding what’s going on in our brain — knowing our impulsive food choices aren’t due to a simple lack of self-control — can be validating and reduce the intensity of guilt and shame. By acknowledging this brain-food connection and taking small, compassionate steps toward bridging the gap, you can begin to break the cycle and foster a healthier relationship with food.

Shira Savit, MA, MHC, INHC is a mental health counselor and integrative nutritionist who specializes in emotional eating, binge eating, and somatic nutrition. Shira works both virtually and in person in Jerusalem.

Don’t Eat Your Money

Tsippi Gross and Rivky Rothenberg

W

hen working with families to fine-tune their budgets, we often find that groceries are a top category where people overspend. Other financial coaches agree: We’re eating our money.

Cutting costs at the grocery store feels uncomfortable and restrictive to many — we get it. Clients often tell us they’re already being so careful; the thought of cutting down even more can be scary.

It doesn’t have to be though. With some advance planning, you can literally stop eating your money. Try these little-known hacks for a more prudent but empowered grocery shopping experience.

Pick a grocery shopping day and stick to it! Each time you go into a store, even if it’s just for one small thing, you end up spending more money!

Pro tip: Schedule your shopping day for the middle of the week to carry you through Shabbos and the beginning of the next part of the week. If you do your restocking Sunday, very often you’ll find yourself needing to shop again before Shabbos.

Reevaluate your store of choice. Often, shopping at certain stores can save time, but the cost on basics can really add up. We tend to toss things into the cart, not realizing how much the markup might be. Be open to shopping in stores you’re not used to if you know other people have found good prices there.

Shop with a flexible list: For instance, write “fruit” instead of “nectarines.” Check the costs of produce once you’re in the store and choose the price point you’re comfortable with.

Need something but your designated shopping day is a couple of days off? Challenge yourself to use what’s in your house. Get creative with what you have in your cupboards and push off that shopping. It feels good to finish things up, and trying new stuff is fun!

Don’t go shopping hungry!

When shopping with kids, especially hungry kids, decide in advance if you’ll be buying them a snack or not, and what it will be. Have the conversation about what you will and won’t be buying before you walk into the store.

Have more grocery pro tips? Send them in so we can share the wealth!

Tsippi Gross is a business consultant and Rivky Rothenberg is a CPA. Together they started Ashir, a nonprofit that provides financial training for communities and families.

Fantasy Fall to Winter Weariness

Abby Delouya

The time of year between  Succos and Purim can potentially bring blessed quiet. The kids settle in for a five-month stretch of regular school and earlier bedtimes — punctuated only by the excitement of Chanukah and midwinter break.

Those with no kids at home may be looking forward to the crisp weather, cozier evenings, focused work, and individual time the season brings. Think chunky knits, crackling fireplaces, and hot chocolate with a good book. Right? Nope.

Fantasy Fall and Winter are the same as Fantasy Spring and Summer; they don’t feature the demands of real life. When the adrenaline marathon of the Yamim Tovim comes to an end, it can take time to ease into a different rhythm. Don’t fret if these months bring about a sense of spiritual or emotional unrest, or the feeling that you’re cooped up and overwhelmed by the demands of routine schedules. Be patient (and try to grab a hot chocolate when you can!).

Abby Delouya RMFT-CCC, CPTT is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice, specializing in trauma and addiction. Abby is also the COO and Director of Intake of Ray of Hope.

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 919)