Turns out, we have quite the optimistic readership!

Last Week’s Poll

Last week, we wondered what there is to look forward to now that Chanukah is over. Turns out, we have quite the optimistic readership! These answers are sure to keep you going — straight through the winter and perhaps even beyond!

Happy Days Are Coming

Purimmmmm! Once Chanukah is over, it’s basically Purim, no? Time to call an official family meeting and discuss this year’s family theme. Shades will be drawn, the front door double-locked, and all cell phones put away as this urgent and crucial topic is belabored endlessly.

One member will gather all the photo albums containing previous family Purim pics to review themes they’ve already done. Obviously we can never repeat a theme because of course everyone remembers we were pirates already when I was two and a half!

Another member whips out a list of costumes seen on Purim last year. “I saw the cutest costume last year, we just need three refrigerator boxes and four cans of spray paint.”

Yet another member (usually the youngest) will set his or her mind on a specific costume such as a princess or fireman, leading to a discussion about how to create a theme revolving around that costume.

How ’bout we be chefs who have a fireman on scene in case of a kitchen fire? Anyone?

Calendar Highlights

Hey, am I sensing a serious anti-Chabad bias here? What happened to Hei Teves? And what about the Baal HaTanya’s yahrtzeit, on the 24th of Teves? Okay, okay, I understand. You’re probably a bunch of Yekkehs and don’t care much about this stuff.

Wait, Yekkehs? Isn’t Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch’s yahrtzeit on the 27th of Teves? Why do I know that and not you? Oh, probably ’cuz you say Tachanun on yahrtzeits. So does Chabad actually. It’s a good thing I’m Satmar….

Fire and Ice

You know when you come in from the freezing cold and make yourself a boiling tea, only to burn your tongue, so you grab an ice pack and jam it in your mouth? Your mouth was the only part of you that wasn’t cold… until that happened. It’s a special moment, holding an ice pack in the shivering cold. I look forward to it all year.

Deep Cleanse

I look forward to galoshes. After a full season of galoshes, I am cleansed from sin — don’t Chazal tell us bushah mechaperes? And there’s plenty of bushah to go around come galoshes season. Maybe not for everyone, but for me.

Like when I was visiting a brother-in-law who davens in one of those shuls where it’s really not fun to be an outsider. And I went to put on my galoshes after davening, but they weren’t fitting. My finger kept getting jammed between the shoe and the galosh (is that what it’s called?) and I was yelping in pain. Frustrated, I just sat down on the floor and started yanking with all of my might. I finally managed to squeeze it on when a rather solemn-looking fellow approached.

“I’m sorry, sir, but I think those are my galoshes.”

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 943)