Our ALL WEEK OF LIVING it up (AWOL) trip. For singles who need to get away, all coordinated by yours truly

Life is not great today. I’m not gonna lie, I’m pretty much done. Chaim Levine said no. After three very pareve, neutral dates, he said no. Listen, it’s not like I wanted to marry him either. But I’ve kind of reached the point that if his parole officer doesn’t pop up in the middle of drinks at the Marriott, I’ll give it a go.

Then Mrs. Pepper, Bayla Taub’s mother, came in for a root canal and stood there — with Dr. Abrams just waiting for her — telling me all about how Bayla is in from Israel for her brother-in-law’s wedding and I must come by and see her and the kids, she knows Bayla would love that, can you believe the twins are seven? And the other two are little carbon copies of Bayla, you must come see.

Yeah, I’m running.

Especially since I’m pretty sure her brother-in-law is, like, 14.

Then my mother texted to tell me that my baby sister, Rena, has something to tell me, and I’m pretty sure it has something to do with the reason why she ran out of the Purim party to throw up. I mean, she wasn’t the one drinking excessively. That had been her adorable husband, Moishe, who is 21 years old, I kid you not. So there’s all that, but I’m just going to shove that into the darkest recesses of my mind until I have time to process.

And then, on top of everything, I got a hefty parking ticket. Which isn’t on theme but is just annoying. Especially since Dr. Abrams told me when I took the job three years ago that he would arrange parking for me.

I crumple the ticket into a little ball, squish it for good measure, look around to make sure only Hashem is watching, and then I bang my head down onto the steering wheel.

“Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy,” I moan into the cool leather.

My phone beeps.

I pick up my head. Did my steering wheel just text me an answer?

Nope, it’s Elana. Ten more days!

And maybe it really is the answer, because a reluctant smile tugs the edges of my lips back.

Yes. Ten more days until our ALL WEEK OF LIVING it up (AWOL) trip.

For singles who need to get away, all coordinated by yours truly.

With Elana’s help, of course. A weeklong trip to Europe for singles who get it.

That’s it, they get it.

And if you have to ask what “it” is, well, then, you’re not one of them.