"Is it really that big of a deal to spend a few dollars here or there? Why budget instead of just living your life?”

November 2017

The Shabbos candles glowed gently in our kitchen, their light reflecting off the metal leichter below. Three candles stood on the counter this week: two tall ones for Nat and me, and a short tea light for the baby we had lost shortly after finishing Baby Step 2.

“V’zakeini l’gadel…” I recited softly. Like every week, I poured my tefillos out to Hashem and asked Him to grow our family, then retreated to the couch to read until Nat came home with our guests. I’d been our shul’s hachnassas orchim coordinator for the past year, which meant that most Shabbos meals were filled with new people around our table.

As I sat down, I felt unsettled, but I couldn’t quite place why. I tried to push the feeling away, and managed to read a few chapters before I heard Nat open the door to our condominium building. As his keys rattled in the lock, I smoothed my (new-to-me) sheitel, bought on consignment, and got up to greet our guests Dovid and Yitzchak, two businessmen visiting our midwestern community from the East Coast. We filed into the dining room, and soon were feasting on dinner.

“Before Shabbos, Nat was telling me about this Dave Ramsey guy you both follow,” said Dovid. “He seems a little extreme.... I mean, does it really matter how you spend your money? It’s all from Hashem anyway.”

Nat and I glanced at each other with the same thought: Do you want to explain, or should I?

“Go ahead,” I said to Nat, smiling. We’d had this conversation before.

“You’re 100 percent right,” Nat answered our guest. “Everything in our lives is a brachah from Hashem. But we need to take good care of the gifts that He gives us. Just like our physical and spiritual health, we’re responsible for maintaining our financial health as well. And, ultimately, our goal is to give more to tzedakah — we don’t mind reducing our expenses in order to give more down the line.”

“Hmm,” said Dovid, thinking. “I hadn’t thought of it that way. But is it really that big of a deal to spend a few dollars here or there? Why budget instead of just living your life?”