For anyone who’s had any experience with shidduchim or plans to. And definitely all frum Austen fans!

Book: Pride and Preference
Author: Barbara Bensoussan
Publisher: Menucha Publishers

How it all began

The idea for this book hit me when my children were in shidduchim. There were so many discussions about expectations for support and whether or not it made sense to pursue shidduchim with families much wealthier than ours. I kept hearing how hard it is for your children, especially daughters, to marry if you’re not rich. The original Pride and Prejudice, which I read and loved as a teen, before I became frum, is about a genteel but poor family with five girls to marry, and I thought, “Sounds so familiar, it could fit perfectly into a frum setting!” The challenge was irresistible.

The hardest part to write

In the original, the young men and women meet at parties and chat freely, which doesn’t work in our world. So I had to figure out how the shidduchim could come about indirectly, with a shadchan in between. I included some meetings, but they had to be brief, accidental, and chaperoned. It was also hard to write the sad or stressful parts, because inevitably, I felt sad while writing them.

Austen’s world: perfect fit or stretch?

The furthest stretch was keeping the young people’s meetings within the bounds of frum propriety. But the themes and concerns of Pride and Prejudice are as relevant today as they were then: anxiety about finding the right mate (or not finding one at all, or needing to “settle”), anxiety about being unable to afford to marry off one’s children, heartbreak when shidduchim are broken off, the damages caused by lashon hara and being too quick to judge others instead of judging l’chaf zechus.

Harder or easier?

Spinning of a classic is different from writing a novel from scratch. I found it easier not to have to create a plot. I don’t have one of those strategic minds that easily invents clever plot twists!