Some principles are universal. For your wife, buy jewelry. For rebbeim, give cash. For all other males age 13 and up I recommend my new best seller on the 2020 election, Where Are the Russians When You Need Them?

Some people have a hard time with Chanukah, but choosing gifts is my superpower. I know exactly what to get everyone on my list.

The one small problem is the budget. I mean, the problem is big, the budget is small.

Me: Can I spend $35 on a Chanukah gift?

Husband: For all the kids together?

Accountant: No.

But can I be real here for a minute — it’s really a matter of perspective. Like the $35 Snap Circuits that I wanted to buy my eight-year-old. First of all, it would make his face light up, which is a key feature of fiscal responsibility. Secondly, he would learn so much from it, and the best learning happens when you’re motivated and hands-on.

Also, he would use it when he’s not in school, which makes it a gift for me also, so if you divide $35 by two, it’s not really that much after all. Besides, if he was an only child I would probably buy it for him. Is it his fault he has siblings?

I added it to my cart.

Speaking of only children, I have only one daughter. She probably has more trinkets and bling than she would if I had five daughters, but as things stand, a jewelry box would be the perfect gift.

The one I really wanted to buy her was $49, but I found a pretty good one for $22, which is way less than the Snap Circuits. Plus it would teach her to be organized, which could be a make-it-or-break-it for a future wife/mother/professional.

Honestly, what’s $22 in the context of her entire future?

My six-year-old wanted Lego, which is fine because there are Lego sets from $3.99 and up. I wouldn’t get him the one for $3.99 — I’m a good mother — but maybe the one for $13.99? Oh wait, that fire truck one is really cool, he would love that. Could I buy it for $39.99?

I hesitated, but then I remembered that my car needed new brakes ($250), a new muffler ($300), and something or other catalytic converter ($479 and I don’t even know what that is). So really, what’s another $39.99 in the scheme of things?

I took it.