Out of Step: Chapter 48
| August 19, 2020No. No, I’m not doing this. I’m not being all “lost my old best friend but made a new one on my way out of our friendship.” No way
Oh, I’d been warned. Everyone said, “Don’t go to high school with your elementary school friends, it just complicates matters.” I heard all about high school politics and about outgrowing old friendships, and the rite of passage of feeling like you have no friends in the entire world.
I just never, in one million years, thought any of it would apply to me.
Atara has been my best friend since I was a little girl. She was the Mike to my Ike, the Simmy to my Mimmy.
And now she’s not.
I walk faster, a light summer shower begins. It suits my mood perfectly.
I’m sad. Really, genuinely sad. And the weirdest part is that it’s not even Atara that I miss so much. It’s just the Bella Rena who was her friend…. That girl I miss. The Bella Rena who dances, who jetés and pirouettes, the Bella who drinks caramel milkshakes at Dolce, the Bella Rena who hasn’t had to make a new friend in nine years, who had a built-in book report and science experiment partner.
That Bella’s gone. And she was kind of awesome, in her simple, obnoxious, self-centered way.
She’s been replaced by a sewing, solo, introspective teenager. And I’m not sure I was ready to say goodbye to her yet.
*****
It’s a sweatshirt-and-Uggs kind of evening, even though it’s in the 80s outside. I blast the AC in my room and snuggle deep into my hole of despair.
My phone lies silently on the desk. I should text Pori or Mali, start putting out feelers for a new best friend.
I glance at the clock. Seven thirty. They’re both at ballet class. With Atara.
Throwing myself back on the pillows, I close my eyes and let the tears spill out. I know it’s okay to cry, but right now, I’m not even sure what I’m crying about.
*****
I shuffle to the sidewalk, half-carrying, half-dragging the garbage bag behind me. One thousand men in my house and there’s no one to take out the garbage when it’s overflowing. I step onto the curb and try to heave the bag in, but some goof has stuffed in like six seltzer bottles that are protruding against the sides of the plastic, and the whole thing is too heavy and riiiiiiiiip.
“Oh, come on,” I say, because, honestly, can this day get any worse? I drop to my knees and begin trying to gather the garbage up without actually touching it, which is a lot harder than one would think.
“Do you, uh, need help?”
I look up, it’s the new girl from across the street.
No. No, I’m not doing this. I’m not being all “lost my old best friend but made a new one on my way out of our friendship.” No way.
“Nah.” I look back down. “But thank you.”
The girl drops onto the sidewalk with me and gathers the seltzer bottles.
“It’s so annoying when people are helpful, don’t you think?” she says, and then she tosses the bottles into a recycling bin and turns to go.
“We don’t really recycle,” I say dumbly. But she’s already gone.
*****
I don’t even know her name, but I have to admit, the girl’s got style.
I love how she just delivered a snide comment and then disappeared into the night. Very my vibe.
Um, you know, before I grew and changed and became a better version of myself.
“Met the new girl,” I tell Ma, as we fold laundry in the living room. One couch hosts a mountain of bein hazmanim loads, the other holds four baskets lined up neatly, waiting to be filled with each boy’s cleaned and folded clothing.
Life is very fair.
Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t want to be fishing in the wilderness, getting stabbed by tent spikes (the story behind Naftoli’s stitches), but it would be nice if someone would fold and put away my laundry for a change.
“So what’s her name?”
“Um, we didn’t get that far.”
Ma blinks at me over a pile of undershirts.
“Oh. Well, what school will she be going to?”
“Um. Well, actually, all I know is that she recycles.”
Ma’s eyes twinkle. “Ah, recycling, the basis of any good friendship.”
And then we crack up, just because we’re tired and the whole thing really is ridiculous.
*****
I see her again the next morning, as I try not to panic over what my first day of not being Atara’s best friend will look like. I’m already walking to school alone, the first of many changes, and there she is, now wearing a pair of black Toms that actually look pretty cute with her uniform. Hey wait, that’s my uniform.
“Hey.”
I don’t look at her as we wait for the crossing light.
“Hi.”
“You coming to Bais Yaakov?”
“Yup.”
“Nice. Ninth grade?”
“Yup.”
“Great. Uh, I’m Bella Rena, by the way.”
She smirks at this as we cross the street. “Cute. Do you dance?”
“Not anymore. What’s your name?”
“Pearlie White.”
I snort.
“Yeah. My dad’s a dentist.”
I stop mid sidewalk.
“You’re joking!”
“Yup.”
“Oh.”
I smile to myself as we turn into the driveway of good ol’ Bais Yaakov.
I have a feeling that ninth grade just got a lot more interesting with the appearance of Pearlie White.
(Originally featured in Mishpacha Jr., Issue 824)
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