They wanted to pay me to speak? Funniest thing ever

"Can I take three styles in a size 13, 13.5, and 14, and then bring them back tomorrow?” I asked the shoe salesman, who looked as though only his professionalism was keeping him from rolling his eyes.

He probably thinks I’m “one of those women,” whoever those are. But really, how do other people shop for boys’ Shabbos shoes? Bring them there after school? Where are all the other kids supposed to be? Don’t say Sunday, boys always have yeshivah.

“I can give you one pair of shoes in two sizes, I can’t do more.”

Wonderful, they have policies to accommodate people like me. But doesn’t he know one style is not enough? One shoe will be my style, one will be what Tzvi likes, and the third will be the happy medium. Tzvi needs to see all three or it won’t work.

I wish I could say Zappos, here I come, but they don’t have the “Jewish” styles. And since we’ve moved, the Jewish styles have become more important. Oh, well.

“I’ll take these, thanks.” I smiled, pointed to the happy-medium pair, and sent up a little prayer. My phone vibrated just as I left the store.

“Hi! Rebbetzin Schwartzberg?” Wow, she was enthusiastic.

“Yes?”

“My name is Leeba Grunhut and I run LOL, an organization for teens who need a little more TLC. I heard you speak at the Neshei panel last week and you inspired me. I think your message and approach will really connect with my girls. I’d love to have you speak at the beach event we’re having in two weeks, Sunday the fourth, at noon, do you think it can work?”

I stopped in the middle of the street, people walking around me; someone bumped into the bag of shoes draped over my arm. It seems people were watching me and I hadn’t realized. But this could be fun.

“Oh, wow, that sounds wonderful. Let me just get back to you on the timing.”

“Excellent!” Leeba paused. “Rebbetzin Schwartzberg, I know your time is valuable, but we’re a small non-profit. All we can offer at the moment is a $100 honorarium, can you accept that?”

I paused. Leeba misinterpreted my silence.

“I can speak to a donor and see if I can improve the offer a little, but I wouldn’t know for a few days.”

“No worries,” I assured her. “A hundred is more than enough. It’s my pleasure and a real privilege to speak to your girls.”

“Thank you!” Leeba enthused. “Be in touch about the timing.”

I hung up and continued standing still, the Fashion Footwear bag weighing on my arm. They wanted to pay me to speak? Funniest thing ever.