Talk. That’s all his father ever does, and he never remembers to leave some silent space to listen to anyone else’s words.

The first day on the job, Dudi’s shoulder aches.

The second day is agony. Lifting the pail is okay, he uses his left hand. But then he has to dip the broom into the paste, lift, twist, and holding the pashkevil with his right hand, brush it over with the thick liquid glue. Enough glue for the poster to stick, not so much that it tears the paper or makes the black ink run.

Lift pail, position poster, up and down with the glue. And again. And again. At the end of Dudi’s day, he examines his shoulder in the small square of cracked mirror in the bathroom. He sees nothing but whitish skin. He thinks he hears the guys laughing at him in the other room.

The third day, he rolls out of bed late, then hangs around Abramovitz’s printing gesheft, watching the pashkevilim spew from the printer. Click. Whirr. Black on white. He watches, unblinking, until black and white blur into gray.

MOURN FOR RIVKA BAS BARUCH EPHRAIM, CROWN OF HER HUSBAND AND JOYFUL MOTHER OF CHILDREN.

DAAS TORAH: RAISE YOUR VOICES AGAINST THE FOREIGN POISON THAT THREATENS TO INFILTRATE OUR HOLY CAMP.

Click. Whirr. Black and white.

But then Mr. Abramovitz gives him a shove, there, on his right shoulder where it aches. Dudi flinches, gasps, almost yells. Then he swallows. He piles an old shopping cart full of the posters, grabs a jerrican of paste and a broom, heads out onto the rounds.

He starts at Kikar Shabbos, all four corners. Gadi, one of the guys in his apartment, told him to start in the Bukharan quarter and finish in Meah Shearim, but he prefers to get Meah Shearim out the way. It takes the most time, eckles him the most, and this way, he’s safe in the Bukharan quarter when his brothers came back from cheder. And when Tatte returns home from the silver store.

Gadi and Nimrod laugh at him. “Bizbuz,” they tell him. This job is a waste of time and energy. And what does he get for it, 32 shekels an hour? The Osher Ad superstore pays 38. You’re inside, out of the cold or the sun, no aching shoulders. They’re even going to give a Purim bonus — two bottles of vodka. But only for over-eighteens.

Only Nimrod — Nechemiah in past life — is over eighteen, but what does that matter?

Osher Ad is an idea, but Dudi can’t bear the thought of spending hours stuck inside, not after years spent staring at the gray-tinged plaster of his cheder.

*

Day thirteen of his new job. Dudi wakes up late, stomach still bloated from his makeshift Purim seudah. It had felt good to sink his teeth into something that wasn’t a potato boreka — meat, a real meat burger, all 400 grams of it. He felt it slide down him and kick out the lethargy.

In the end, Osher Ad had given the guys arak, not vodka, but they’d had a good time all the same. When Dudi saw the bottle, he’d almost told them, don’t you know that the mitzvah to drink is punkt wine, not spirits? Then he’d laughed at himself and matched them, cup to cup. By the end of the night, his stomach was a small, round mound and his head felt like the whirring printer. Now, the thought of food makes him feel sick, but as he leaves for work, he picks up the arak bottle — it’s still half-full — and slings it into his bag.

He runs off to Abramovitz’s, dodging the little boys that clog the streets on their way to cheder. After last night, he looks worse for wear, and he runs his hand through his hair. Maybe he needs a haircut. But then, how long is too long? He’d thought he was patur from the questions when he took off his yarmulke. But it turns out the questions don’t disappear, just change. It’s not, is this enough for a k’zayis? Or, if Tatte says pas nisht and Rav Veiner says nisht geferlech, who to listen to? Instead it’s, where do you eat? Do you check for a hechsher or does none of it matter anymore? What stops you from doing anything, anything at all?

He thinks of his Yiddish-Hebrew dictionary, the one thing he took along when he moved out of his parents’ home. It’s not just about figuring that ess means le’echol or the oilem means the chevreh. It’s that it’s easy to translate his name from Duvidel to Dudi, but not so easy to figure out what Dudi really means.

When he ducks into the printers to pick up the day’s warnings and laments, Abramovitz makes him wait. A mistake in the copy. Endorsky — what’s printed — should really be Endovsky. And just who is going to pay for the mistake? Abramovitz mutters. Just who?

A shlechter tog before it begins. His headache has spread, now it feels as though the back of his skull was hit by a succah board. He looks around the streets; the Purim things have been whipped out of sight and all is Pesach. A sign: Celebrate Yom Tov Like a King, Buy Stein’s Dining Set. Sink inserts are stacked up on the sidewalks. Foil glints in the sunlight, hurting his eyes.

He starts, as usual, at Kikar Shabbos. Lift pail. Position poster. Dunk broom into pail and swish, up and down the paper.

Where will he spend Pesach? The other guys mentioned that they’re going back to their families. “Once a year,” they had said, slapping him on the back. “Be a man.”

But if he spends Pesach with his family, he’ll have to face his mother. She’s a good woman, but she’ll follow him with his eyes. He’ll feel her stare across the table, until enough! Genug!

He’ll turn to her and say, why are you looking at me? And she’ll play with her napkin and say, me? I’m not looking at you. But the staring will continue.