Two women take on reverse dares

If you’ve ever read a Dare and wondered, “What’s the big deal? I do that every day!” then you’re not alone. What one woman does without a second thought may be daunting to her friend, while her sister laughs at both those challenges — but quails from another.

To explore this dynamic, Family First spoke to two women whose hurdles are diametrically opposed. Perhaps you will see yourself in one, perhaps in the other, or perhaps in both on alternate Tuesdays. No matter whose mindset you identify with, looking over the shoulders of two courageous women as they stretch themselves will provide you with insight into the choices you face every day.

Introducing…

Bracha:
With seven kids ranging from infant to older teen, you’d think I’d already know what I’m doing when it comes to parenting, but no, I’m floundering like everyone else.

I did once take one of the popular, mainstream parenting courses, and was a pretty faithful student. While I can’t say I always applied the methods, I mastered the basic concepts, and more or less followed the teacher’s approach, with mixed results.

More generally, I’ve always been a large consumer of parenting articles and classes. But sometimes, I wonder if everything I read is paralyzing and leads me to mistrust my own judgment. So much of the advice is conflicting; how do I know which is right? Why should I stuff myself and my kids into another person’s box?

Esti:
I’m actually not a big advice-seeker, because honestly, I’m good at this parenting thing. From my marrieds down to my pre-teens, I’ve got a great relationship with all my kids, they’re successful, well-liked, emotionally healthy ⸺ I could basically give a parenting course, if I can say that without seeming boastful.

The Challenge

Bracha:
I want to tune into my own voice for a change. For the next two weeks, when I’m faced with a parenting dilemma, I want to block out all the static and just wing it. To you, that may not sound like such a challenge, but for me it is. I want to find out ⸺ am I capable of listening to my own truth? How will things work out if I do?

Esti:
My challenge presents in the form of my adorable and unpredictable 11-year-old. While I raise him the same way I raised my other kids, I’m at a total loss when it comes to his wild outbursts, which are straining the whole family. His OT strongly recommends a particular parenting class, which he thinks will reinforce the floor-time work we do in therapy.

Me? I’m doing so well, I’m a great parent! It’s Shuey who has challenges. I’m good.

Then I research the recommended parenting teacher and freak out. Her oldest is eight, and I’m a mother-in-law, for crying out loud! I should go sit next to all these 20-somethings and learn to talk to my kids?!