Some upside-down wishes that would require miracles to be fulfilled

The Purim Megillah uses the term v’nahafoch (9:1), which indicates reversal, change, or something upside down, and refers to the miraculous salvation of the Jews of Persia who, instead of being annihilated, suddenly emerged victorious. Events were reversed and turned upside down.

IN this spirit of Purim, we offer here some upside-down wishes that would require miracles to be fulfilled. But since this is the Purim season, with Pesach miracles not far behind, who knows?

WHAT IF we could find a newspaper that offers the news honestly and objectively, and reserves the opinions for the op-ed pages — so that we might return to the comforts of believing what we read?

WHAT IF fine Torah institutions would solicit contributions in a dignified manner and would not, for example, offer quid pro quo to daven for us if we contribute to them — implying that no contribution means no davening?

WHAT IF we could find ways to honor and challenge bar mitzvah boys other than having them read the entire Shabbos sedrah, which — especially outside of Israel where Hebrew is natural — includes inevitable errors that make it questionable if the congregation has fulfilled its listening requirement? What if, for example, time spent on this training were to be devoted to having these capable youngsters make a siyum on several tractates of Mishnayos, or on all of Shas Mishnayos?

WHAT IF Pesach hotel advertisements would give top billing to their shiurim and lectures, instead of featuring their spas, menus, and 24-hour tea rooms, as if the frum clientele is attracted more by things of the flesh than of the spirit?

WHAT IF Purim celebrations in Israel would not involve thousands of young boys high on wine — or behaving wildly as if they were — causing traffic gridlock and general madness in the streets, creating a carnival atmosphere as if this were a Mardi Gras, making one ask if this is what “simchah” really means, and making one wonder if these Purm celebrants are machmir and punctilious on all the other mitzvos and minhagim, and not exclusively on ad d’lo yada

WHAT IF our daily minyanim would stop racing to beat the clock, making one wonder if this is why so many shuls have installed those garish, red sports-arena clocks which show not only hours and minutes, but seconds as well.

WHAT IF elected officials everywhere would concern themselves with the welfare of their voters and not about their own welfare and chances of reelection?

WHAT IF there were only one reliable and recognized hechsher for kashrus instead of the fifteen competing ones that only confuse and frustrate the public?

WHAT IF chareidim and kippah serugah and partially observant and secular Jews were to lower the walls separating them and would begin at least to talk and converse with one another, and thus to demonstrate that we are all children of Avraham Avinu — a truth which, ironically, our sworn enemies have long known?

WHAT IF those who tried to annihilate us with their missiles this past Shabbos were to heed the Purim lesson that Haman and now Khamenei have learned: that upside down can happen overnight?

WHAT IF those who write columns would write their full columns instead of short headlines and bullet points?

WHAT IF all these wishes were fulfilled? That would truly be v’nahafoch.

From the war-related wholly empty but soon to be gridlocked again streets of Jerusalem — best wishes from the Holy City for a Purim and post-Purim filled with true simchah. —

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 1102)