“It is cyber-security 101 not to share passwords. Only one person should know and use a password”

Security Alerts [Inbox / Issue 1095]

Last week’s Inbox contained a letter from someone offering several solutions to the scenario presented in a recent Double Take, in which a key staff player’s offline vacation left the company without critically needed access. As someone who has worked in computer security, I found the solutions offered to be impractical and even dangerous.

It’s true the suggestions would solve the immediate access problem presented in the Double Take column. However, the potential cost, including legal liability for negligence and not performing due diligence, could be staggering.

It is cyber-security 101 not to share passwords. Only one person should know and use a password.

Two-factor authentication (2FA) is only viable if the code is sent to a device under the control of the individual making the request.

And the last solution, a work phone that others have access to, has lots of problems, including the first two above. It also precludes locking the phone in a way that only the owner can unlock.

David Makowsky

Chicago, IL

People of Appreciation [Guestlines / Issue 1095]

Thank you, Rabbi Moshe Walter, for your article reminding us to always express proper appreciation. Regrettably, many of us often disregard the obligation to express gratitude when receiving kindnesses of any kind, something rudimentary that we routinely teach our children to do.

We are an appreciative people. We are called Yehudim after Yehudah, so named by his mother Leah, who said, in appreciation for his birth, “Hapa’am odeh es Hashem — This time let me gratefully thank Hashem.” While we ritually thank Hashem upon waking every morning, we are obliged as Jews and by common courtesy to do so for our fellow humans.

And, on occasion, a simple thank-you for a service rendered could at the same time be a significant kiddush Hashem.

Michael Kaufman

Jerusalem

Powerful Reminder [Guestlines / Issue 1095]

I wanted to express my appreciation for Rabbi Moshe Walter’s article “Thinking Thanks Is Not Enough.” I found it incredibly insightful and relatable.

I recall a powerful speech by Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein z”l emphasizing the importance of expressing gratitude in our daily lives. He highlighted that saying “thank you” is not just a courtesy but a fundamental aspect of building connections with others. Whether it’s the waiter serving you, the mailman, the cleaning lady, or your parents, acknowledging their efforts is crucial. When someone pointed out that these individuals are just doing their job, Rabbi Wallerstein stressed that it doesn’t matter — they still deserve our gratitude.

I put this into practice after a simchah, when I called the florist to express my thanks. She shared that she rarely receives such calls, noting that people usually only reach out when there’s an issue. It’s telling that a simple “thank you” can be so impactful.

Rabbi Walter, thank you for addressing this vital topic. Your article serves as a reminder to appreciate and acknowledge those around us, fostering a culture of gratitude and kindness.

Miriam Berkowitz

Memories of My Father [StanDing Ovation / Issue 1095]

Thank you so much for your authentic article about Yeshiva Melodies. I remember as a little boy, when all those singers were in my parents’ home, on Rush Street in Williamsburg, singing and practicing those niggunim. I would like to add that one person was not mentioned — his name was Rav Tzadok Shaingarten. He was chassidish, but they recognized his beautiful voice.

Thank you for giving credit to my father, Reb Avrohom z”l. He was so proud that the Yeshiva Melodies became as popular as it did. He always had original ideas. He was the first to use bamboo as sechach for the succah. He was also the one who encouraged Rav Henoch Leibowitz to move his yeshivah from Williamsburg to Forest Hills, Queens.

Rabbi Paysach Krohn

Familial Connection [The Moment / Issue 1094]

The article “Sefer of Salvation” in the Moment section was beautifully written and of particular interest to me and my family, as Rav Yitzchok HaKohein Huberman a”h was my great-uncle. His wife, Leah a”h was my grandmother’s sister and the two families lived near each other in Bilgoraj, Poland. As they had no children of their own, Leah helped my grandmother with her children, among them my father, Shaya Ledereich a”h, and treated them as if they were her own. The Hubermans and my father’s family stayed in close touch and were together throughout the war, in Siberia and afterwards in the DP camp. His life history is written in the first sefer of the three-volume Ben L’Ashri that he authored.

I would like to make one correction to your article. In the third paragraph, it states, “He hailed from Sochatchov.” In fact, although Rav Huberman learned in the Sochatchov yeshivah under the Shem MiShmuel, he was born and lived in Bilgoraj, Poland, for much of his life.

Thank you again for your inspirational article.

Temmy Manela

Mothers Can’t Take Off [Double Take / Issue 1094]

I am writing in reference to the latest Double Take story in your magazine, “Offline.” I read the Inbox letter about one reader’s insights as to what Nechami should have done prior to her leave, and I agreed with her points.

However, I read this story and had my own opinion from a different perspective. Nechami, not as the head manager of her office, but just as a mother of children! How can a mother of children (young or old) ever switch off her phone? I am a mother of a large family, baruch Hashem. I rarely go on vacation, but when I need to travel abroad to a family simchah and look forward to a two-day break, my children know that they can always reach me (no matter what time zone). To go away and switch off your phone, to me, is just unheard of and neglectful as a mother.

Had Nechami had her phone on, not only could she have been of help to her office (which seemed like they only needed a couple of minutes of her precious time away), her children would have been left with a feeling of love, care, and protection, even when she was away.

Anonymous

Blurry Equivalent [TLC Talks / Issue 1093]

I very much enjoy reading Rabbi Schonfeld’s column and listening to his entertaining and meaningful podcast, The Learning Curve. We are truly fortunate to have such dedicated, talented and smart leaders in the world of chinuch today.

As someone who works in the field of education, and also as a mother, I wanted to respectfully share a reflection regarding the commonly used glasses–medication mashal. While it is a helpful analogy in some cases, I do not believe it is a perfect comparison. Firstly, glasses do not come with the same side effects that medication often does. My son may sometimes lose or break his glasses, but those “side effects” are not comparable to the effects medication had on his sleep patterns, appetite, weight, growth, personality, daily behaviors, and interests.

More importantly, glasses address vision — an essential life skill that a person will need long after formal schooling ends. In contrast, while there are certainly children who experience real success with medication — and in those cases, parents and teachers alike may describe it as a true brachah, there are also many children who are placed on medication in the hope of a “quick fix” for challenges that may require time, effort, and the development of the natural skills Hashem has given them.

Some skills a child struggles with may fall within the range of developmentally appropriate behavior. Schools, which are not perfect systems, are often stretched thin, with limited staff trying to meet the needs of many students. As a result, parents are left to carefully weigh whether difficulties such as lack of focus, high activity levels or anxious behaviors are challenges a child might naturally outgrow, or whether introducing medication is truly necessary.

Additionally, diagnoses today can be murky. Unlike a vision test, which is typically clear, objective, and leads directly to a prescription for glasses, the diagnoses that result in anxiety or ADHD medications are far more subjective. The DSM criteria (if they are even being referred to at all) are not nearly as clear-cut (e.g., “Has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities or fidgets or squirms in a seat”).

Just some food for thought, the next time you are asked the ”Well, would you give your kid glasses?” question.

A mother who medicates — but wonders

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 1096)