“The real catalyst for the book was one of Rav Miller’s Thursday night lectures, in which he elaborated on how Torah offers advice for daily life,” Saftlas continues. “The Torah, he explained, is itself a storehouse of good advice — one that helps with success in life, happiness, seizing opportunities, and managing relationships. Viewing the Torah this way shifts our perspective, aiding us in seeking and finding its guidance. Rav Miller’s words form the foundation of this work, which aims to share practical advice for establishing and developing successful relationships, as the Torah clearly shows.”

It took a few decades to percolate. The end result wasn’t just another Saftlas marketing project, but a reflection of how he actually lives his life: building and encouraging the best in people, strengthening organizations, and helping both businesses and nonprofits form relationships that last.

“Rabbi Gedaliah Zlotowitz of ArtScroll really deserves a lot of the credit,” Saftlas shares. “He encouraged me that there was a need for a “frum” Dale Carnegie-style book that combines various types of self-help advice with the lasting relationship-building principles rooted in the Torah and Chazal.”

One small example, Saftlas says, is something everyone in business faces at some time or other: crisis communication. He brings the story of a close friend, Dr. Rich Roberts, who had a long-standing dispute with the Food and Drug Administration when he was CEO of a pharmaceutical company. The FDA had set seemingly impossible roadblocks during the approval process for a new medication that threatened the company’s survival.

“You need to know when to fight and how to fight so you can come out on top,” says Saftlas. “It requires both strategy and diplomacy. In doing so, Dr. Roberts was applying the lesson we learned from Yehudah, who planned and approached his confrontation with Yosef — whom he believed was merely the viceroy of Egypt — with respect and determination to secure Binyamin’s release.”

The Same Old Stories

The book is divided into “microchapters,” each one highlighting a specific concept on how you can build and maintain “winning relationships” in your life.

“I give a lot of credit Dr. Debra Jasper, CEO of the consulting and training company Mindset Digital, who I once interviewed on my radio show. In a world where people are distracted and attention spans are short, she inspired me to use microchapters to draw in readers,” Saftlas says.

But he credits the real brainstorming to Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky, rosh yeshivah and dean of the Yeshiva of South Shore in Hewlett, New York, and an accomplished writer in his own right. The two of them started mapping out content together about seven years ago. It took a few years, but once they had a clear plan, Binyamin Rose stepped in to transform all those insights into engaging text and bring the concepts to life.

“When Yitzchok asked me to help put his thoughtful ideas into words, I eagerly agreed,” says Binyamin Rose. “Everyone who keeps up with recent news understands how bleak it can look, and I believed this project would provide a meaningful boost of hope. I’ve seen that clearly during these past two years of war, when I never knew if I’d need to pause my writing to seek shelter from rockets or ballistic missiles. I remember my wife once coming into the room where I write and saying, ‘I can tell you’re working on the book now because I see a look of satisfaction on your face.’

“I guess part of that has to do with the fact that every journalist is always searching for a good story, and the Chumash offers plenty of them. For decades, Chumash and Rashi have been the foundation of my Shabbos afternoon learning seder, and I felt this project would also motivate me to explore other sources and Midrashim to find supporting material.”

True, the stories in Chumash might be thousands of years old, but they remain timeless.

“I once heard a comment from Rabbi Yosef Zilberman, the menahel of the famed ‘Zilberman cheder’ in Jerusalem’s Old City,” Rose says. “He explained why elementary school students spend so much time on chazarah and why they enjoy constant review before moving on to new material. ‘If you ask a young child if they want to hear a new story or the one you told yesterday, most will say they prefer to hear the same story again,’ he said.”

Still, Rose admits, he found it difficult to find stories from today’s world that relate to and elevate the Torah content, rather than detract from or profane it.

“Sometimes it took hours to find the right fit,” he says, “but other times, inspiration came immediately.”

One such example is in the microchapter “Honesty is the Only Policy,” which describes how Yaakov Avinu told his sons before their second trip to Egypt to take twice the amount of money they initially brought, in case inflation had raised prices during the meantime. He also instructed them to immediately return the money from their first food purchase in Egypt, which Yosef had told his servants to put back into the brothers’ sacks.

“The focus on honesty immediately brought to mind the story of Rabbi Noach Muroff,” Rose says. “In 2013, Rabbi Muroff, who was a ninth-grade rebbe at the Yeshiva of New Haven, performed a major kiddush Hashem by returning a bag containing $98,000 in cash that he discovered inside a secondhand desk he had purchased on Craigslist for $150. The story quickly went viral, with Fox News, CNN, and the BBC interviewing him. I enjoyed the chance to retell Rabbi Muroff’s story, along with many other inspiring stories, and hope they will motivate everyone facing their own challenges.”

 Over the years, says Rose, he’s developed a set of standard questions he asks interview subjects who have written a book. One of those questions is: What did you learn from writing the book?

“I specifically remember asking that to Senator Joseph Lieberman a”h when I interviewed him in 2013 about his book, The Gift of Rest: Rediscovering the Beauty of the Sabbath,” he relates. “I recall him being impressed with the question and saying that it made him appreciate Shabbos even more than he already did.

“So I’m asking myself the same question: What did I learn from writing this book and how did I grow from it? The simplest answer is that I learned a lot of Torah while doing it — that’s my greatest reward. It reminded me how eternal the Torah is and how, by going through the cycle each year at roughly the same times and seasons, we reinforce our tradition and our emunah.

“But there was something else as well. It also reinforced in me the principles of commitment and teamwork — one of the big lessons here — which are the two most essential elements for successfully finishing a long project. Working together with Yitzchok and Rabbi Kamenetzky, I once again experienced that true achievement is rarely a solitary pursuit, but rather the product of shared vision, mutual support, and the willingness to lift each other up along the way, overcoming obstacles and turning them into opportunities for growth and lasting impact.”

Excerpt

RESPONSE CARD

When you’re sent on a mission, it’s courteous and professional to report back clearly to those who sent you. Reporting back explicitly shows respect, validates their authority, and underscores the importance of your task. It demonstrates responsibility and reinforces trust in your commitment to completing assignments precisely.

Upon completion of a task: After completing a task or mission assigned to you, proactively report back to the person who asked you to do it. Taking initiative and clearly stating, “I’ve completed the task you asked me to do,” shows respect, professionalism, and appreciation for the importance of the assignment.

After receiving advice: If someone gives you advice or assistance, follow up afterward to inform them of the outcome. A brief update such as, “Your advice was helpful, and it worked out great!” validates their input and encourages them to help again in the future.

No news?  Report back even when you don’t have an update. For example, you committed to providing an update on a project by 5 p.m. It’s approaching 5 p.m. and there was no progress. It’s not proper to avoid giving a response; rather, communicate that there is no new update but that you’re on top of it. In almost all cases, the person awaiting the information will appreciate that you’re touching base.

Excerpt

PREPARE FOR PLAN B

What would you do if you only had a precious few seconds to make a change to a plan that could result in life or death for more than 150 people?

That was the dilemma facing Captain Chesley Burnett “Sully” Sullenberger in 2009 when he was piloting US Airways Flight 1549 and a flock of geese got sucked into the plane’s engines, causing the engines to conk out. His mind frantically raced for options to try and land the jet somewhere (anywhere!) and he quickly realized that making it to the nearest airport runway was not an option.

All professional pilots have a “Plan B” in their back pocket to implement in a crisis. Faced with a potential catastrophe, Sully smoothly landed his Airbus A320 on the Hudson River; moments later, ferries rushed in to rescue the passengers. All 155 passengers and crew survived.

I had the privilege of interviewing Captain Sullenberger in 2015 on the 77WABC Mind Your Business radio show, and he made it sound routine… but it took planning and training.

“We always practiced for emergencies that might arise,” he said. “This one was so sudden and so extreme that I had to suppress my natural adrenaline rush, quickly channel it, and not allow it to distract me,” he said.

There is a science to this process that anyone can master, says Geoffrey James, an Inc.com contributing editor. “Neuroscience has recently revealed that remaining calm under pressure is not an inborn trait, but a skill that anyone can learn.”

I realized that I could find the same message he conveyed in the story of Yaakov Avinu’s reunion with Eisav. Yaakov prepared for every possibility beforehand — through prayer, gifts, and readiness for battle.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 1093)