Let’s take Yaakov’s advice for Ephraim: Do good!

“Yisrael extended his right hand and rested it on Ephraim’s head….” (Bereishis 48:14)

Yosef had two sons, the first named Menashe, implying a break with a tumultuous past, and the second named Ephraim, referring to Yosef’s great accomplishments.

Dovid Hamelech writes in Tehillim 34:15, “Turn from bad, and do good.” The Chiddushei Harim suggests that the name Menashe symbolizes the concept of turning from evil, and the name Ephraim symbolizes the concept of doing good. (Rabbi Shlomo Caplan, Mishulchan Shlomo)

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or curiosity’s sake, I’d like to take a survey of Family First’s readership. Before you “hang up,” it’s only two yes-or-no questions.

Question #1: Do you feel constantly busy doing for others, family included?

Question #2: Are you hard on yourself, always feeling that you should do more and better?

I’m not a survey researcher, but I can venture a guess that most people answered yes to both questions. Why?

When Yosef presented his two sons to Yaakov to receive a brachah, he placed Menashe on Yaakov’s right indicating that “turn from bad” takes priority over the “do good.”

What was Yaakov’s response? The Chiddushei Harim suggests that Yaakov told Yosef, “For you who grew up in my home, shielded from a perverse environment, ‘turn from bad’ comes first. However, for your sons who grew up in Mitzrayim in an immoral society, ‘do good’ should take precedence.

Last Tuesday, it was pouring all day long. I had a zillion errands and jumping in and out of the deluge made me feel like I was drowning. I picked Shloime up from school for a dental appointment, but he couldn’t find his coat. Not wanted to risk losing the appointment, we went sans coat. A dripping Shloime wasn’t too happy about that. After the appointment, we jumped back into the car, and good mommy that I am, I went out of my way to drop him off at his after-school woodwork class. Then of course, I didn’t want him to walk home in the rain, so I ran out again 40 minutes later to pick him up. I had a trunk full of groceries that had to make it upstairs without melting in the rain, supper wasn’t prepped, and yes, Shloime was starving!

There are a number of good reasons to follow this approach. For most of us, turning from bad is a lifelong battle. If we wait until we win this battle, it may be too late to get involved in any significant good deeds.

Secondly, if you don’t already have the “do good” basis, when you give up your bad habits, you’ll have nothing to replace them with, and nature abhors a vacuum.

The Chiddushei Harim offers an important third reason. In the process of confronting your sins you may become depressed, which will deprive you of the stamina necessary to divorce yourself from the past.

Fourth, when you deal with past sins, you relive them, coming out “muddy” from the contact.

(Certainly, one must regret his aveiros and confess them, but it’s best not to dwell on them.)

This chiddush of the Chiddushei Harim is addressing the chinuch of our society. Let’s take Yaakov’s advice for Ephraim: Do good! If we fill ourselves with good, we’ll leave very little room for the bad.

Forcing myself to stay calm, I started on supper, while putting away groceries and sending Shloime to change out of his soaking pants. He sulked. Dry pants were boring, wet pants were more fun!

I was putting away the milk when I saw the invitation on the fridge door. Our babysitter of many years was getting married. Tonight. In a different city. In the rain.

I had been planning to go; I was still friends with her and her mother. And it was a mitzvah of simchas kallah. But standing in that kitchen, with the rain pounding outside, I just couldn’t fathom going out again. With a sheitel and heels to boot.

I served supper, cleaned up, slipped into warm fuzzy slippers. And hated myself. What a horrible friend I was to miss the wedding.

Why do we automatically focus on the things we don’t do, beating ourselves up, rather than highlighting the many positive things we do do? But now I’m becoming a professional pollster, starting with two questions and ending with more….

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 975)