Strategies for intentional living from experts who get it

Changing the Lens

Shira Savit

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t’s easy to look at your excess weight and think, This is just from food.

Maybe you assume it’s because you’re eating too much, not moving enough, or not doing something “right.” That if you just had more control, your body would look different.

But what if the changes you see aren’t just about food at all?

What if your body is holding more than calories — like the years of stress, the nights you barely slept, the emotions that never had space to land? What if your body has simply been adapting to the life you’ve lived?

Weight is often talked about like it’s a simple math equation. But real life isn’t lived in equations. It’s lived in the moments between the lines — nursing a baby through the night, caring for aging parents, rushing from one thing to the next, managing work and home and expectations.

Your body goes with you through all of it. And it responds to all of it. Sometimes it holds on to more. Not because you’ve done something wrong, but because it’s trying to take care of you. When life feels unpredictable or too much, the body often shifts into protection mode. Digestion slows. Hunger signals blur. Cravings get louder. The body may hold on to extra as a cushion, as a way to feel safe.

For many women — especially mothers — there’s so much quiet weight being carried that no one sees. Mental load. Emotional fatigue. The pressure to keep going. The fear of falling apart if you slow down. Your body feels all of that. It holds what doesn’t get expressed. And sometimes that shows up physically — not as failure, but as a reflection of what’s been too heavy for too long.

That’s why healing isn’t just about what you eat. It’s also about how you’re feeling inside your life. How safe your body feels. How much support you’re allowing yourself to receive. How often you pause, breathe, and ask, “What do I need right now?”

This isn’t about giving up on change. It’s about changing the lens. Instead of seeing your body as a problem to fix, you might start to see it as something that’s been trying to protect you. Something that’s been doing its best with the resources and space it had.

You don’t need to go back to how you looked before a certain season of life. You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’re simply someone whose body has carried a lot. And that body deserves care, not punishment. Gentleness, not pressure.

Because your body’s story isn’t just written in weight. It’s written in resilience, in adaptation, in all the ways it’s supported you — even when you weren’t aware. And the more kindness you offer it now, the more space it will have to begin letting go.

Shira Savit, MA, MHC, INHC is a mental health counselor and integrative nutritionist who specializes in emotional eating, binge eating, and somatic nutrition. Shira works both virtually and in person in Jerusalem.

No Empty Nests

Abby Delouya

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friend of mine recently shared how alarming it is to witness that come summer time, many parents whose kids have left to camp seem unmoored. If they’re so destabilized from a month or two alone, she wondered, what will happen when their kids, G-d willing, fly the coop?

The goal of parenting is to nurture children to become thriving, independent, autonomous, and connected adults. Ironically, we often curtail our own independence, needs, and wants to invest everything we can in our children’s development.

How do we ensure that we still feel grounded and whole — as individuals and in our marriages — even as we invest so much of ourselves in child-rearing?

Take space to connect to yourself, whether it’s 15 minutes a day to just stop and hear your own inner voice, or go on a day trip, or even a vacation alone to recharge.

Make your marriage the top priority: Investing well in parenting takes a huge amount of emotional energy. Yet your marriage needs to take top-shelf importance. This means connecting with each other throughout the day in small and bigger ways. Try not to just communicate about technical matters and family stuff. Keep up fun, light banter, and allow for meaningful and important talks as well. Couple time can mean a walk around the block, making lunches and folding laundry together, or actually going out on a date.

Keep up with your spouse’s development. Don’t assume that the person you married in their early twenties has stayed the same. They may not like the same things, or need and want the same things they did when you were dating. Curiosity and fun are two essential ingredients to stay connected throughout the years.

Deal with challenges that arise. Don’t allow relationship sore spots to turn into huge bruises that fester over time. Deal with painful differences, disagreements, and challenges, instead of ignoring them.

Remember that caring for yourself and your marriage is actually a really important gift for your children and an essential part of the parenting process. Attuning to self, and our spouses, will help to ensure that we don’t look around 20 years down the road wondering, Who am I? Who is my spouse and how did I get here?

Abby Delouya RMFT, CPTT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice with a specialty in trauma and addiction. She’s also the Director of Intake and Care Management at Ray of Hope.

Safe Travels

Dr. Jennie Berkovich

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often remind parents that car seat safety is not only about age, but also size and fit. Keep kids rear-facing as long as possible, ideally until they max out the height or weight limit (often 35 to 45 pounds). Next, use a forward-facing seat with a five-point harness for children up to 65 pounds or 49 inches. Once the child has outgrown the harness and can sit properly the entire ride, they move into a booster.

Thinking of graduating kids to a seat belt? Wait until they’re at least four foot nine. And remember: Back seat only until age 13. Younger children, whose bone and skeletal structures haven’t yet fully matured, are at greater risk of injury if the airbags deploy in case of an accident.

Even if you’re only planning a short trip, keep your kids safe in the car!

Dr. Jennie Berkovich is a board-certified pediatrician in Chicago and serves as the Director of Education for the Jewish Orthodox Women’s Medical Association (JOWMA)

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 956)