The level of judgment on a first date is astronomical

“I have a date!” Shaindy crowed.

“Fabulous!” I responded. We discussed what she could expect on a first date, and prepared some topics of conversation in case there were awkward silences.

I

thought about Shaindy as I served supper, hoping her date was going well. She called later that night.

“How did it go?” I asked.

“I don’t knowwwwwww,” Shaindy wailed.

I waited.

“There’s a lot I like about him,” she continued. “But… I know this is going to sound dumb, but I hate his nose. It’s big. Really big.”

I see this often. The level of judgment on a first date is astronomical. People dream of utter perfection, then go on a first date and there’s something that irritates them. It could be a big nose, frizzy hair, dorky glasses, a nervous tic. As soon as the dater is hit with this annoying element, they flip “The Switch.”

The switch controls the part of them that’s engaged and involved. Once they let their irritation balloon to huge proportions, the switch is flicked off; they’re physically present but emotionally checked out, and the date is over almost before it starts. What I want to tell these daters is — keep your fingers off the switch!

It may continue to bother you so much that you can’t get past it. But first, give it a chance. That’s what I attempted to convey to Shaindy.