Protektzia is baked into our society. Should it be?

We’re all so used to the protektziya baked into our system, from school acceptances to camp to shidduchim. It’s not what you know, it’s who you know   — and that’s particularly true for our community.

I think pull is…

corroding my belief in our system.

For yeshivah and seminary, the application process means that students are interviewed and can showcase their talents and hard work. But camp? Camp is a numbers game. There aren’t enough spots for all the applicants, so if you don’t know someone with pull, the door doesn’t even open for you. You’re automatically waitlisted. So I embarrass myself by calling every person I know who might know someone. I’m told again and again, “This is just how the system works. If you don’t beg or plead, they won’t accept you.”

This system engenders disgust (how could a system like this be aligned with Torah?), insecurity (I guess I’m not choshuv enough to matter), and a competitive every-man-for-himself spirit (you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do). Protektziya is so deeply entrenched in our system that people no longer feel outrage about it; they simply shrug their shoulders and start making their phone calls. Is this really how it’s supposed to be?

—Shaina

doing very little to sway my decisions.

I am a community rav who meets with many people about a wide range of issues. Sometimes, people who want an appointment for counseling or advice will attempt to influence the situation, sometimes to get an appointment sooner or to push an agenda. Many of them believe that if they casually drop a name, I’ll be more inclined to give them what they want. I guess they feel that if they know someone I respect or have a relationship with, then I’ll be more inclined to do what they want. (Someone actually once mentioned that his daughter and my four-year-old granddaughter were very close!)

This technique is completely off the mark. I’m not going to juggle my schedule or meet someone at midnight on Motzaei Shabbos because they know a name. I think, like most rabbanim, I will accommodate requests when I feel an achrayus to care for that person — whether they’re a member of my kehillah, they’re in need of something I can uniquely offer, or they’re just a Jew who has no one else besides HaKadosh Baruch Hu to share their burden. Nothing creates a positive response more than being told, “I’m counting on you. I have nowhere else to turn.”

On occasion, I need to use my own name, whether to get someone an interview or a medical appointment or admission to a yeshivah. I try to focus on how I feel when people pull on my strings, and I prefer the honest and direct approach. I express to the employer or physician or menahel that I recognize their position, but Hashem has placed His child squarely in our laps and we have to find a way to bend so we can see Hashem’s salvation unfold. I guess that’s also name-dropping.

—Rabbi F.