“Remaining insular while still being sensitive and interacting with others through middos tovos is exactly what the Torah expects of us”

It Fills a Need [Open Mic / Issue 1033]

I wanted to comment on Reb Shmuel Botnick’s masterfully written Yom Tov article about Grinches and Simchas Torah hashkamah minyanim. Rabbi Botnick writes that the short hakafos in early morning minyanim are for those Grinches who don’t wish to celebrate with the klal.

But there are some groups in Klal Yisrael for whom the neitz minyan on Simchas Torah is a lifeline. Be it a couple who is still waiting for children, a divorced man who doesn’t have his children on the chag, or an older single who watches his friends reach milestone after milestone, for many individuals a “regular” Simchas Torah minyan overflowing with children is simply too painful to participate in, making a child-free hashkamah minyan the only choice.

There are typically not enough people in these demographics in close enough proximity to make a minyan (or perhaps we are just unaware of each other), so we rely on the Grinches to make the minyanim we attend. As such, my wish is for the Simchas Torah neitz minyan to remain alive and well until Klal Yisrael knows no more pain.

Name Withheld

Different, But Not Indifferent [The Ring of Healing / Issue 1033]

Rabbi Lopiansky’s article, “The Little Teivah and the Foolish Shepherd,” touched on what I believe is one of the greatest challenges in nurturing respect and empathy in ourselves, our children, and our students for those who are “different” from us: the need to separate ourselves in order to remain pure, kadosh, and uninfluenced by the real dangers of broader society.

This legitimate fear of negative influence often drives a pressing need to degrade or dismiss others. We fear that appreciating the role or positive qualities of “others” might make us more inclined to emulate them. If we feel any sense of achdus with them, we worry it could lead us to adopt their philosophies. Thus, we tend to shut them out entirely, denying them any respect or empathy.

It’s difficult, yet remaining insular while still being sensitive and interacting with others through middos tovos is exactly what the Torah expects of us. I believe the key to achieving this balance lies in remembering our responsibility to the klal, as Rabbi Lopiansky pointed out. We must recognize that we are different in order to make a difference, not to become indifferent. We need to remain pure and uninfluenced so that we can influence others — by being true mekadshei Hashem, embodying and reflecting both kedushah and middos of Hashem in the world.

When we master this balance, Hashem will sanctify His Name through us, bringing the Geulah. As the Malbim insightfully explains at the beginning of Sefer Yeshayah (1:27): when the navi addressed Shevet Yehudah, most of whom lived outside of Yerushalayim, his rebuke focused on their shortcomings in mitzvos bein adam laMakom. Conversely, when addressing the residents of Yerushalayim, who generally kept mitzvos bein adam laMakom, he emphasized their failures in the realm of bein adam l’chaveiro. This is the meaning of the pasuk, “Tzion b’mishpat tipadeh v’shaveha b’tzedakah — Tzion will be redeemed through justice, and those who return to it through righteousness.” The redemption will come when the people of Yerushalayim improve their interpersonal conduct, while those outside will merit redemption by demonstrating righteousness in their relationship with Hashem. Only when both aspects of Torah observance are elevated will the Jewish People be truly worthy of redemption.

Rabbi Shraga Freedman

Ditch the Days Off [Inbox / Issue 1033]

I, too, found Mrs. Heyman’s chart featured in the article on the tuition crisis, exploring some areas of friction between parents and school administrations, to be excellent and very insightful.

Then I read the letter to the editor that took exception to schools’ practice of giving teachers time off for cooking before Yom Tov. It’s actually this argument used differently that was the final straw that led me to leave the education world 17 years ago.

I was teaching middle school English and earning $1,080 a month before taxes. Each time I asked for a raise, they would tell me about financial struggles and figure out a way to raise me $10 a month… and then there would be the clincher: “But don’t forget there is no other job that gives you off not just Erev Succos, but a day before, and not just Erev Pesach, but a week before…”

Honestly, if I had a choice, I would happily take the pay raise and ditch all the days off.

Out of the Classroom for Financial Reasons

Decades Long Blessing [Crown Jewels / Issue 1033]

This fascinating article about Radomsk stated that the brachah the Minchas Elazar gave to the ten bochurim who protected him was fulfilled in that all ten survived the Holocaust.

But actually, the brachah of the tzaddik lasted much longer. The Radomsker shtiebel in Boro Park was started by a few surviving Radomsker chassidim. One of those chassidim was Reb Shmiel Gleitman, who was one of the ten bochurim protecting the Minchas Elazar. He said that of the ten he was in contact with, each lived into his nineties.

Reb Shmiel himself was in the Sosnowitz ghetto and then in Auschwitz. He went through the worst possible. Yet not only did he survive, he also lived on to the ripe age of 99, finishing Shas 14 times. He passed away 11 years ago.

Yehi zichro baruch.

A former mispallel at the Radomsker Shtibel

A Meeting Place [Graveyard Shift / Issue 1032]

This article about the chevra kaddisha in Vienna brought to mind an experience my oma, Mrs. Litzy Stern a”h, and my sister, Dalia Fuerst Kaplan a”h, had in the Jewish cemetery in Vienna in the early 1980s.

Oma and Dalia were in the cemetery visiting the kevarim of Oma’s grandparents, Herman and Julie Herzka, who were buried there before World War II.

After spending some time davening, Dalia noticed a little piece of paper that said “Litzy” on it.

Dalia immediately said, “Oma, there’s a note here for you,” and read it.

The note said, “Litzy, I know you are in Vienna and en route to Israel. I don’t know where you are staying, but I know that you will visit the cemetery, so I am leaving you a note here. If we do not meet in Vienna, I will see you in Israel. Your cousin, Robert Herzka.”

Almost 50 years after Herman and Julie Herzka had passed away, two first cousins knew that they could connect there.

Dafna Greenberg

Fresh Meadows, NY

My Personal Angel [Tears to Awaken / Issue 1031]

I’m writing with regard to the article about Rabbi Chaim Mintz, founder of Oorah. I am, baruch Hashem, one of the many, many, many children blessed to have been taken under his wing.

Where would I be today if not for Rabbi Mintz? I came from a broken, Israeli, non-frum home. After my parents’ divorce, my mother could no longer afford to send me to a Jewish school and switched me into public school. Rabbi Mintz plucked me out of there and paid for my elementary and high school tuition. He also sent me to Eretz Yisrael to Neve Yerushalayim. My earliest memory was visiting the Mintzes’ succah in Brooklyn (probably the first time I’d ever been in a succah). He would ask us questions about Yiddishkeit and throw candies to the kids who had the right answers.

I would receive a magazine once a week called Olomeinu (who remembers that?) and it would have Jewish reading content that I loved. (Better than watching TV all day!)

I once got in trouble for pulling the fire alarm in school (yes, I was one of those kids), and Rabbi Mintz called me and asked if everything was okay. When I was dating in Eretz Yisrael, he reassured me over the phone, “You’ll be engaged by Chanukah.”

Throughout my life, he’s been there for me... literally like a father. My teacher used to joke, “Rabbi Mintz is your personal angel.”

Thank you to Rabbi and Mrs. Mintz and the whole Oorah family for your hard work and dedication. A big shoutout to Yahoo and Gitty Mintz for opening their home to us girls for Shabbos and giving us the best time in The Zone.

May you be zocheh to see the fruits of your labor in this world and the next.

Tova Messeca

RBS A

From Gateshead to Eretz Yisrael to Lakewood [Still Singing his Song / Issue 1031]

I turned straight to the article featuring an old family friend, Reb Gershon Fordsham, in the Rosh Hashanah magazine. His fame and shem tov have truly spread worldwide.

Recently, I spoke to my brother in Eretz Yisrael, who had received a call from our chassidish nephew who resides in Lakewood. His (chassidish) rav (formerly from Stamford Hill) had requested him to take the amud, and knowing his rav had learned in Gateshead Yeshivah back in the day, asked my brother to teach him some old niggunim from Reb Gershon with all his kneitshes, which he knew his rav would appreciate.

This same brother had davened from the amud away from home one Friday night. Afterward, a mispallel approached him and asked, “Did you learn in Gateshead?”

“How did you know?” my brother asked.

“You used all Reb Gershon’s kneitshes!” he answered.

To end off, as a sem girl in Gateshead over 50 years ago, we used to vie for the very coveted places in the boarding school’s small ezras nashim during the Yamim Noraim just to experience his legendary style (and yes, we did join in, in an undertone).

May Hashem grant Reb Gershon and his dear wife (who by the way is also very musical) many more years in good health.

H. R.

Manchester

Misplaced Commitment [Double Take / Issue 1029]

Upon first reading the story about Russy, who quit her job after a month, we instinctively felt that she’d done nothing wrong, and we were confident that the responses would reflect that sentiment.

So after reading the letters responding to the story, we were surprised. The overwhelming focus on “commitment” in response to the story bothered me. What sense of commitment are people referring to? A job isn’t a life commitment; it’s bound by the terms of a contract, which Russy followed perfectly when handing in her notice.

Should she have stayed in a job she disliked because she “committed,” out of menschlichkeit? It’s totally unfair to expect an employee to prioritize menschlichkeit toward her employer over her own personal well-being, when deciding whether to quit a job. (If the situation were reversed and Meira fired her for not being a good fit, no one would question the employer’s right to do so.)

Moreover, Russy consulted a rav before deciding to quit, and the psak was clear: She was allowed to leave, regardless of the employer’s situation. This isn’t about menschlichkeit — following daas Torah is the right thing to do. And even in terms of menschlichkeit, Russy acted in the most considerate way possible, giving a month’s notice and offering to train her replacement.

We find it shocking that one letter writer even compared the job to a husband. Are we seriously comparing employment and marriage in terms of commitment?!

Another point that has been overlooked is Meira’s reliance on her own plans. Where is the acknowledgment that ultimately, Hashem is in control? While it’s natural to feel upset, blaming her employee when things don’t go as planned reflects a lack of emunah.

M.A. and T.O.

Antwerp

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 1034)