“Keshot atzmecha… improve thyself, and only then [can you try to] improve others”

ASthe new year settles upon us, here is one person’s partial wish list for 5785.

The most important wish and prayer of all, of course, is that we all be inscribed and sealed in the Book of Life for a shnas chaim v’shalom, a year of life, lasting peace, and good health, with a clear victory in the war, the return of our hostages, and at least a pause in the raging anti-Semitism around the world. These override everything else.

Still, there are a few other wishes, perhaps of less portent, that would enhance life in the coming year. For example:

A wish for less rushing in our daily lives. We are obsessed with speed; it is the symbol of our times: faster cars, faster computers, faster trains. We spend fortunes to make our computers respond in ten seconds instead of 20 seconds. More troubling is the fact that the obsession even threatens to invade our religious lives, with some daily minyanim that are speedy and non-stop “express” rather than much slower “locals.” The old maxim, “speed kills,” is true not only on the roads, but also in our connections with the Al-mighty. May we have more locals and less expresses. (Please watch for a fuller treatment of this in a forthcoming column, im yirtzeh Hashem.)

An amusing wish: that native Israelis would look less surprised when I say shalom to them even when I don’t know them. Have they never heard of the rabbinic dictum in Avos IV:20 about being makdim shalom to everyone, to be the first and not the last to wish others well?

A vehicular wish that: a) Israeli bus drivers would wait a few seconds for newly boarded passengers to settle in place before starting again with a jolt. Some of the drivers, despite all their skills, are impatient bruise drivers, not bus drivers; b) that Israeli taxi drivers would simply charge by the meter instead of haggling with their passengers about a fixed price — usually about 25 percent more than the meter would register; and c) that Israeli car drivers would be less impatient and less aggressive. Making U-turns on busy thoroughfares is the norm, but is really not acceptable. Nor is speeding, nor is habitual violation of one-way streets. Granted, the same aggressive driver who forces you off the road will stop to help you when you have a flat tire, but still….

A wish for more dignified adverts for tzedakos. Is it hypersensitive to feel that the promises of good things in exchange for a minimum contribution is demeaning? The selling of tzedakah with huge, eight-color ads and lurid headlines is somewhat redolent of selling toothpaste. Granted, these techniques bring in more money, but occasionally one wonders if the price paid in the diminution of respect for Torah is really worth it.

An impossible dream, this, but I wish there were a consolidation of the plethora of Israeli kashrus certifications. The proliferation of different — and obviously competing — certifications is not only confusing but degrading. Family X will eat only certification Y’s hechsher, and would never touch certification Z, while Family A will eat only Z’s hechsher and not touch Y’s. Something is not right, but only Divine intervention will help.

On the positive side, I pray for a continuation of the steady stream of Israelis of all types and ages who eagerly assist older people. As in no other place, Israelis universally give respect and attentive care to the elderly. May their numbers increase.

A prayer for the continuation of the other-worldly quiet that descends on certain Israeli neighborhoods when Shabbos begins. Instead of vehicular traffic, we find children, baby carriages, young and old people taking over the normally harried streets. No one rushes; speed takes a holiday. This is truly m’ein olam haba, a hint of the World to Come. Those who do not observe Shabbos don’t know what they are missing. May such neighborhoods and thoroughfares be multiplied.

More positives: Amid all the tumult about army service, we should not overlook the incredibly high level of Torah scholarship in Israel, a level not reached in many centuries.

And perhaps the most crucial wish for the new year, a hoped-for gift from Above not easy to accept: that the Holy One give us the ability to fulfill the well-known epigram, “keshot atzmecha… improve thyself, and only then [can you try to] improve others.” That is, may He grant us the gift to become less critical of our surroundings, and to learn to examine our own selves rather than others (which applies to this column as well…).

Wholehearted wishes for a kesivah v’chasimah tovah! May our loving Shomer Yisrael continue to watch over us and shield us from all harm — and help us reduce our extrospection while we increase our introspection.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 1030)