At this point, his staff had proposed a trailblazing idea: Artificial Intelligence would have to control the president

And it came to pass, In the summer of 2024, with the election only a few months away, that the White House was in panic mode. The president’s debate was a disaster, and his rambling and mumbling lost him ground every time he spoke.

AT this point, his staff had proposed a trailblazing idea: Artificial Intelligence would have to control the president. No longer would he address issues on his own. A specially trained staff member would be positioned behind him at every public appearance and news conference, and this specialist would flash all responses onto the new AIteleprompter screen. The president would simply read what was on the screen.

And so it was that in the second debate, the president fielded all questions flawlessly. Whatever the subject — foreign policy, economics, finances, immigration, crime, the Middle East, Russia, China, abortion, population growth, race relations — he addressed them with ease and expertise. No problem was too complex for him. As expected, his poll numbers suddenly skyrocketed.

But there was one major problem. The campaign was perfect only when the president had the special AIprompter before him. But how could he mingle with crowds while standing behind a mechanical device? Without it, he reverted to his normal, bumbling self. The media was beginning to ask questions: Why does he never give impromptu answers, why does he never mingle with the people, shake hands, engage in chitchat?

The campaign staff thought and thought; they brainstormed and contemplated and proposed and suggested and recommended and cogitated and opined and resolved and wondered — but they could not find a reasonable way to detach him from his AIprompter while out among the people.

And then came the assassination attempt on the president’s opponent. The country was in shock, but the reelection staff was relieved. Not because the opponent had not been killed, but because now they had a solution to their problem. Immediately, because of security concerns, all outdoor rallies were canceled, and the reelection campaign was confined to the White House — and henceforth only from the White House would come all statements and initiatives and responses. Press conferences were canceled, and the president would not venture forth until further notice. Security comes first.

The reelection campaign was peerless. Attached to his new AIprompter, he knew exactly how to appeal to every element in the population. He was the perfect candidate; joy reigned in the White House. And it was no surprise that the president was reelected in the greatest landslide in American history.

At his Inaugural Address, delivered on the closely guarded Capitol grounds, the president, carefully surrounded by the Secret Service and secretly tethered to the AI, read his speech forcefully: As you requested, here are some quotes from past Inaugural Addresses: George Washington said, “We stand united against all forms of tyranny”; Jefferson said, “We must all hang together or we will all hang separately”; Lincoln said, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.”

The staff was horrified. These inane quotes were not the speech they had prepared for him. Someone must have pressed the wrong AI key. They tried to stop him, but he droned on: FDR said, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself”; Eisenhower said, “We must beware of the military-industrial complex”; John Kennedy said, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.” These are the citations you asked for. More are available upon request. Amen and thank you.

There was polite applause, but the president was not finished. He continued reading from the AI monitor: Feel free to modify any section. Artificial Intelligence is here to help you in all areas, provide inspiration, and help you learn.

The president’s staff was aghast. They tried to pull him from the stage, but the president read on: Artificial Intelligence is the wave of the future. It is free to use, easy to try, and helps you think clearly. For only $20 a month you can get the Deluxe model, the AIPlus. If you agree to our terms, read our privacy policy.

And with this, the president bowed, and umbilically tethered to his AIprompter, retired to his quarters.

The staff was frantic, and in the spin room tried to persuade the media that the president had a great sense of humor and was only joking. But to the millions of listeners the secret was now revealed. Now they understood everything. The presidency of the United States of  America, the most powerful office in the world, had been captured by a mechanical man, by a robot.

The pontificators pontificated, the opinion leaders opined, the philosophers philosophized, the pundits pundited, the editorialists editorialized, the thinkers thought, the analysts analyzed. ABC called for a resignation, the Washington Post demanded an impeachment, CNN wanted an apology, Fox News called for a federal ban on AI, Congress opened an investigation, the New York Times wrote that “we have been cuckolded, betrayed and violated.”

In an attempt to calm the turbulence, the president addressed the nation again: My fellow Americans: I speak to you tonight alone from the Oval Office, not from a teleprompter nor from any Artificial Intelligence. Forgive me if I mumble or stumble, but my words tonight are my own, straight from the heart. This election has taught me several truths.

Firstly, as my mom taught me but I had forgotten, there is no substitute for integrity. I thought the presidency was the ultimate prize, and I surrendered my integrity to attain it. That was an error for which I apologize.

Secondly, intelligence does not come from a device or a machine. It comes from thinking, studying, observing, and listening — to those around us and to those who have preceded us. Intelligence must be genuine. It cannot be artificial. Better to digress and mentally wander — which I sometimes do — while maintaining one’s integrity, than to deliver bland cliches only to win votes.

Because I won this election by pretending to be what I am not, and because you voted for a robot and not a human being, I hereby resign this office, declare the election invalid, and call for a new election, with candidates who speak from the heart and not from a device. I return now to my humble roots and genuine values. Thank you and goodbye.

The president left the room, the cameras stopped rolling, and an unearthly silence enveloped the White House. The nation’s wise men pondered and the elders considered: Was this the beginning of the end for Artificial Intelligence, or was it merely the end of the beginning? They deliberated and considered, and finally they asked AI for the answer.

But the screen went blank.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 1022)