I present you with the People-Watcher’s Guide, Travel Edition

W

hile many of you may be spending Pesach in your own homes, there are others who, by choice or familial pressure, must travel. Maybe you’re visiting family, or maybe you’re living it up at a hotel, but if this temporary relocation includes air travel, this article is for you.

In fact, all frequent (or not-so-frequent) fliers can clip this article and store it in your carry-on for future use; it may come in handy.

Without further ado, I present you with the People-Watcher’s Guide, Travel Edition.

Find the following characters in the seat next to yours — or, if you look closely enough, in your very own seat.

The Schmoozer:

Just when you shove those foam ear plugs into your ears and reach for your complimentary eye mask, Rhonda appears on the runway and flashes you a wide, toothy grin. “Well, I’ll be!” she begins as she places her luggage into the compartment over your head. “You look just like my second cousin, Beatrice! If I didn’t know any better, I’d give you a big ol’ hug right here!” Then her face gets serious. “Too bad Beatrice died of lung cancer last year.” You cluck your tongue appropriately and remove your ear plugs. This is going to be one long flight.

The Teenager:

Believe it or not, teenagers are a semi-predictable bunch once you get the hang of them. And of this one thing you can be sure: They have zero interest in talking to you. Which is why they make excellent seatmates on a ten-hour flight. Recognize a teen by the hood covering their forehead, or the electronic device casting an eerie blue glow on their face.