I’m lying here and not moving. Ever, maybe. Just let 11th grade begin without me. Who needs an education anyway, am I right?

I shriek as we go down the slide, Aliza’s hands tightening around my neck so that I can’t actually breathe. Great, I’m either going to pass out from lack of oxygen or crash-land at the bottom of a giant blow-up slide in a blaze of mortifying glory.

Thankfully, I land safely, and break free of Aliza’s grip. Naomi, one; embarrassing slide incidents, zero.

Of course, the second we land Aliza forgets that she was afraid for her life and yells, “Again, again!”

I groan and Miri comes over with water.

“Best tante of the year, that’s for sure,” she says cheerfully, which would be sweet except that my family’s on this super annoying, super perky campaign to distract me from my Yocheved woes.

I smile tightly. “Hmmmm. Aliza, I’ll do that again when Mashiach comes, ’kay?”

Aliza loves this. She claps her little hands and starts singing, “We want Mashiach now, we want Mashiach NOW!”

Shrugging, we all join in.

Hey, my family might be over the top, but they’ve got their priorities straight.