MORE MEYUCHAS THAN WE ARE “One girl I was close to — we eventually walked her down to her chuppah — was very integrated into the community. She asked that the microphone under the chuppah be turned off when the kesubah was read — she didn’t want everyone in attendance to hear ‘bas Avraham Avinu.’ Another asked the rav if it could just read ‘bas Avraham.’ This secrecy comes from experiencing negative reactions. People have to realize that these newcomers are more meyuchas than we are”

E ver have to give up a childhood custom or habit or forfeit some small pleasure that doesn’t fit with your husband’s or community’s minhag? It’s hard to change the way you’ve always done things. Imagine giving up everything: being part of your birth family your favorite foods even your mindset and educational values. Imagine that your annual festivals no longer exist. Imagine dropping your comfortable identity and assuming a new one submerging yourself in a foreign culture.

All these are part of the immense sacrifice a giyores makes when she decides to join the Jewish people. “As I observed the girls who lived in our home I was amazed by their strength and dedication ” says Zisi Schleider. She’s mother of a nice-sized brood for many years was a beloved playgroup morah to a bunch of adorable tots — and mentor and adoptive mom to many young women who seek to join the nation of Avraham Avinu.

Frum Life Immersion

In addition to formal tutoring during the conversion process London Beth Din requires geirim to spend at least six months staying with an approved Orthodox family. This is meant to provide a practical foundation for Jewish living as well as a taste of the spirit of Yiddishkeit. Zisi’s family — passionately frum yet easygoing — are the perfect hosts for a wide range of young women on a journey toward Judaism.

Much of the learning takes place in Zisi’s kitchen. “I invite the girls to join me in the kitchen and to cook there. I tell them right away ‘Nothing here is precious nothing is expensive to replace. If you think you used the wrong utensil just tell me so I can kasher it or throw it out.’ We have to be very matter-of-fact and open from the beginning so that it’s not scary to make mistakes because if the girls cook in my pots — rendering them bishul akum — we can’t use them afterward until they are kashered.”

The girls have to learn how to check eggs and vegetables and working in an active kosher kitchen is the best way to gain these skills.

“So many things we do seem crazy to the outside world ” Zisi marvels. “These girls want fully kosher homes so they need to become comfortable with milk and meat and pareve with asking sh’eilos with kashering utensils with being careful which dishwasher or microwave they use.” At the same time they’re learning to make chicken soup potato kugel honey cake and other foods Jews do eat.