With the threat of impeachment hanging over our heads we made a decision to not publish official results

Last Week’s Poll

Last week, we asked you to vote on what you found most confusing about Election Day. Ironically, though, we did it through a Ballot Box of our own, which presupposed that elections aren’t rigged. Unfortunately, after sifting through the results, there are reports of election irregularity, with many readers submitting more than one choice and some totally blocked out of participating.

The most popular choice in last week’s poll was officially number three, but at least one of our editors who expressed support for choice two has refused to certify the results, leaving us in a quagmire. Stopping short of a full throated “stop the steal” rally complete with horned protesters, our editor has in no uncertain terms made it clear that she will not support publishing contested results, even though her allegations of “widespread fraud” are dubious at best. But with the threat of impeachment hanging over our heads we made a decision to not publish official results. Instead, we offer three alternative suggestions.

Say No to Taxes

Here’s what gets me confused: I don’t know what a tax levy is. It’s that simple. Considering that it has the word “tax” in it, I’m inclined to vote no. But… what does “levy” mean? Maybe levy means you don’t have to pay taxes. And that gets a thumping yes. I was so confused I didn’t fill in any boxes. I just wrote the words “no taxes” and stuck it in the machine. No wonder they were reporting irregularities…

All’s Fair in Politics

It’s not the elections that confuse me, it’s the craziness before elections. Like when  you have some governor who spends the year leading up to the primaries in Iowa, New Hampshire, and North Carolina, wailing about the economy and how the middle class is being forgotten. Then some audacious reporter says, “Mr. Governor, do you plan on running for president?”

And he gets this drifty look on his face and says, “Hmm, funny that you say that. Because just last night, at the dinner table, Michelle asked me the exact same question.”

Common Sense Isn’t So Common

Personally, I can’t follow the news commentators in the hours post elections. I must be missing something, because while everyone seems to be listening with rapt attention, there isn’t much wisdom being shared as far as I can tell. It sounds something like this:

“Well, the results aren’t in yet, but here’s what we project in a hypothetical sense. The Republicans can win Nevada, and that would put them ahead of the Democrats, at least in Nevada. The other option is that the Democrats win Nevada, and that puts them ahead of the Republicans, also, only as far as Nevada is concerned. Moving on to Ohio, we’ve got several Democratic incumbents whose seats are being challenged. If they lose, that will give the Republicans a big boost. If they win, well, then the Republicans will not get a big boost.”

But everyone around me seems enthralled, so I keep listening, and wonder what I’m not getting.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 936)