With these additional innovations you’ve sent in, this will be the best Seder ever

We asked you to help us come up with solutions to some of the challenges we tend to confront at the Pesach Seder. Actually, we thought we’d covered everything with our waterproof kittel, Karpas Katcher and Everything Haggadah, plus your inventions from last week, including the Seder Sand Timer, Afikomen Escape Room, Gebrochts Cubicle and Beanbag Leaner. Now, with these additional innovations you’ve sent in, this will be the best Seder ever.

AFIKOMEN SNATCHER

Made for the kids, this sophisticated snatcher discreetly reaches directly into Zaidy’s kittel from under the table. It is programmed to automatically camouflage itself against whatever Zeidy is wearing so it cannot be seen. It’s also programmed to conduct the negotiations process on your behalf. You can enter in your preference before Yom Tov. A bike? Electric scooter? Tesla? Nursing home?

FOUR SONS IN MINIATURE

To make the Arba’ah Banim come alive, these four doll-like caricatures of the respective personalities are a must. Here’s the catch: Along with the Rasha comes an authentic teeth-blunting device to demonstrate “af atah hakheh es shinav” in real time. (We asked our local dentist.  He didn't know what a teeth-blunter is —but it turns out none of his colleagues heard of it either. So that's actually good, because that  can be part of the invention as well.)

UNBREAKABLE MATZAH

The search for shleimim is over! With the creation of unbreakable matzah you can now actually use more than 25 percent of your box — although Yachatz might be an issue…

THE WAZE HAGGADAH

The goal of every Seder is to start at Kiddush and proceed in an orderly fashion to reach the afikomen before chatzos. But unless you grew up in the Heights, it rarely works out that way. Inevitably there are traffic jams, detours, and digressions that slow you down or make you lose your way. Enter the Waze Smart Haggadah. Just enter the names and ages of all participants and the Waze Haggadah does the rest. Each segment of your Seder is directed with the name of the performer and a set time to complete the task after which a cheerful chorus of Dayeinu breaks in and brings the segment to a conclusion, and you move on. When you finally hear the long awaited “you have reached afikomen,” the built-in sensor will tell you where the matzah is hidden and will give you three minutes to pretend to look for it. The Waze Smart Haggadah is approved by major poskim and is non-gebrochts.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 907)