Esther understood that no matter how much you plan, the outcome is not up to you

“Command Aharon and his sons…” (Vayikra 6:2)

Albert Einstein said: “The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know.” Mark Twain said: “My father was amazing. The older I got, the smarter he got.”

Absolute knowledge eludes us. No matter how much we learn and experience, an ever-growing quantity of information remains beyond our reach.

The word “tzav” is the root of the word mitzvah — commandment. At times, we may partially comprehend the rationale behind a mitzvah, while other times we have no inkling whatsoever. Yet the very nature of a commandment is that it must be followed regardless of whether or not we understand it. (Rabbi Chanoch Kaplan, Chabad of Northwest Bergen County)

“Ma, what’s my IQ?”

I glanced over at Avi, who was sprawled on the couch reading some article that was apparently discussing IQ.

“I have no idea,” I answered him, gearing up to launch into one of my favorite topics of It’s not what you know, but what you do with it and IQ versus EQ, but he was already back into his article. Yet his question niggled at me, because I clearly remember asking my mother the same when I was his age and being frustrated that she didn’t have a tangible answer to offer.

Seven hundred years ago, Rabbi Yediah Hapnini wrote: “The ultimate purpose of knowledge is to know that we don’t know.” The more we know, the more we realize how much more there is that we don’t yet know. In the past century, there’s been an explosion of knowledge. But the greater and broader discoveries have become, the more the relative unknown keeps increasing.

I decided it was finally time to discover what my mental magical number was. I got ahold of some old IQ tests, first trying an abstract reasoning test. It felt like I was back taking the SATs, not a fun feeling. Besides, what use do I have for abstract reasoning other than explaining why Yitzi has to go to bed a full two hours before Binyamin even though they’re not two years apart?

When I finally finished using all my gray cells, I got to the disclaimer at the end. Apparently, this was a sample test and if I really wanted proper results, I could send in $19.99. It was a no-brainer to know that wasn’t a smart investment.

Next, I moved on to a word-oriented IQ test. Me + words = IQ 170? But after dealing with such questions as What word is always spelled incorrectly in the dictionary? I decided I’d be better off making up my own IQ test, based on the Stump the Mum dilemmas I deal with daily.

It takes high acuity levels to know what to answer Shloime when he wants to know why his hair isn’t blue to match his eyes, like Yitzi’s brown hair does.

And it takes tremendous sagacity to philosophize intelligently with Yitzi as he ponders how he can know if he’s real and not just a character in someone else’s dream.

Sometimes, it takes perspicacious powers to know how to answer what’s for supper! When it comes to a mother’s IQ, perhaps we’re really measuring her Intelligence Quagmire.

Among the topsy-turvy features of Purim is “ad d’lo yada.” Perhaps a deeper rendering of this command means to “know that you do not know.” Esther fasted for three days before approaching Achashveirosh to request intervention on behalf of her people. This doesn’t sound so wise, knowing that such fasting would diminish her physical attractiveness and threaten her mission, which depended on finding favor in the eyes of the king.

Yet Esther understood that no matter how much you plan, the outcome is not up to you. Her plan was secondary to the more important matter of finding favor in the eyes of Hashem. We may think that we know it all. But the only thing we must know is that we don’t know anything at all; it’s all in the Hands of Hashem.

As time goes on, more and more, I find myself falling back on the most truthful response: I just don’t know. What I do know is that I don’t mind not knowing anymore. What used to be important during my teens — brilliance, education, and intellect — has taken a back burner to wisdom, experience, and self-knowledge.

I don’t even need to pay $19.99 to recognize the value of that insight. Now that’s genius.

 (Originally featured in Family First, Issue 785)