Mishpacha readers who’ve brought meaning, growth, and joy into their single years share their takes and tips

Being single is not a steerah to having a normal, functional, and balanced life. Don’t see the life you’re living as the end of the world; don’t put your life on hold, not getting the degree you dream of or pursuing the full-time job you’d love, just because you’re waiting to get married.

Keep the hischadshus and fun spontaneity in life alive. Do something random, pick up an old hobby or find a new one. Learn a cool skill, discover an inspiring shiur, find a passion, make chesed a part of who you are, go out by yourself or with friends for a walk, Slurpees, to the beach, anywhere. Find a way to be around kids — they’re hilarious, and you won’t be able to keep yourself from being amused. Amuse yourself.

Just do something that makes you feel like you, makes you feel happy to be alive, makes you excited in the present here and now. Life has so much more to offer you if you just open your eyes to its possibilities. No one is forcing you to play the role of the victimized damsel in distress, awaiting some knight in shining armor. Choose to be the vibrant princess who lives vivaciously, knows how to laugh a little, and never gives up an opportunity to carpe diem.

As someone who hasn’t been given the ability to start a family of my own yet, connecting to a kiruv organization adds a lot of meaning and purpose to my life. So much kiruv is needed in the world, and when I’m married and building my own family, I might not be able to focus on this as much as I’d like. Doing kiruv leads to opportunities for Shabbos and Yom Tov plans, as well as being in an environment where being 27 and single doesn’t feel so old (a nice break from my usual reality).

Be confident about who you are. I wear dresses from last year, slinky skirts to the grocery store, and sometimes my hair’s in a pony and I skip the makeup. It feels good to get dressed up, but some days are sweater and slinky skirt days, and if I’m seen in public like that, so be it. I have to do what’s right for me, and that’s all I can do.

Explore the world! See new countries, experience a new climate and culture, hear different languages and accents. There’s a good chance you won’t be able to do this once you’re married. Every time you have a small vacation, even for a few days, fly somewhere fun. You’d be surprised how cheap some places are, especially when it’s not peak travel time. There’s so much to see and do, even if you go for only one or two days, even if you go with just one friend.

When you’re away, you forget about the world you left behind and come back feeling like a new person. Do this every few months so that when you start to feel low, you know you have something to look forward to.

Rav Shimshon Pincus’s piece about the difference between bitachon and denial was a game changer for me. He says that denial is when people think, “Everything’s gonna be okay” while bitachon is more along the lines of, “Hashem loves me and is doing the absolute best thing for me. So b’ezras Hashem I’ll get married, and I’m going to keep davening for that. But if I don’t get married, then every second of this single life I’m living is the best possible thing for me, and I’m going to rock the socks off this challenge and be the best me I can be, regardless of my marital status.” (Another funny source of comfort for me: This past summer, I kept thinking, if I’m not wearing a wig at least I’m getting awesome highlights!)