Maybe they would talk. Really talk, figure out where they were going wrong, how to get their marriage on track

Within minutes, the responses rolled in. Deena’s eyes raced across the screen.

princess123: Oy... 🙁 Grief is such a horrible thing. You’re doing the right thing by taking him to therapy. He’s going to thank you for this one day.

momof4: I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I don’t know you and I don’t know your son, but I want to tell you something about grief. Grieving isn’t only about missing a person you lost. It’s a void you live with forever, even as you move on and lead a functional life. Whether your kid knew his father/had a relationship with him is irrelevant. You need to acknowledge that he’s growing up missing an important element in his life, and it’s 100% possible that his behavior is linked to one of the stages of grief, maybe anger or depression. It sounds pretty normal to me. Therapy is a good idea, although I wouldn’t worry, he’ll probably get past it either way.

A few posters responded with an emoji. A hug; a frown with a teardrop. It was smack in middle of a workday. How did everyone have time for this?

Another hug. lemongrass: My grandmother has Alzheimer’s disease. She lost her parents during the war, when she was four. She asks for them all day now, even though her whole life she told us she doesn’t remember them.

Okay, she had to join this conversation. But not as the OP, as—

She logged out quickly and logged in again, with her NotHappening username. A moment later, her back a little straighter, she was back on the thread.

I don’t get it, guys. Are you trying to tell the OP that her kids will never be normal?

There were three responses in under a minute.

lemongrass: Not at all!

princess123: We’re encouraging her to address her kid’s grief!

momof4: You took my words out of context. I was talking about acknowledging the reality and giving the kid the tools to move on.

Deena logged out again, then logged in as MeMyselfAndI.

Thanks, everyone. I appreciate your words. Everything you say makes sense. Still, I can’t help feeling like there’s something else going on here, that grief isn’t the only answer. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like… there’s a stone wall around my daughter’s — yikes! backspace — son’s heart. I wish I could take a hammer and smash that wall down. And the worst part is that I feel like, somehow, this is all my fault.

Ugh. What was she doing? This was totally humiliating. Pathetic.